Ya know, I’ve gotten a lot of advice about how I should handle online dating. A lot of advice. A LOT. You know why? Because I’ve been here a long time. And people who haven’t been here, or are happily in a relationship, assume I must be doing it wrong, with all the miserable and outrageous stories I’ve collected over the years.
But I’ve been here a long time because I know who I’m looking for, and frankly, I haven’t found him yet. It’s better for me to be single, than jump from relationship to relationship. I’m not that person who NEEDS to be in a relationship to feel whole. (I’ve dated that guy too.) But I want a relationship. I miss having a relationship. And when I find him, I’ll know. In fact, I had a dream about him just last night. I didn’t recognize his face, but I recognized his soul. The question that remains is, will he know it’s me once we’ve met? Or will he be too caught up in this circus we call online dating? I’ve met less than a handful of familiar souls in this pit of despair over the last decade… and they’ve been too distracted by shiny things to recognize me.
So, guys, I’m going to be frank with you. Online dating has NOT gotten easier with practice. It’s gotten harder. It’s gotten worse. The pool has gotten muddied with phonies. It’s gotten to be a miserable experience. And I just don’t want to be here anymore, not that I ever wanted to be here in the first place! Men have offered sugary complements, only to blast me with insults if I did not reciprocate. So now I do not answer that sugary sweet email proclaiming I look like an angel from heaven, with a polite, “Thank you, but I don’t think we’re a good match. Good luck in your search.” Not because I can’t be bothered to do so, but out of pure self preservation. I’ve had men track me down on facebook after I blocked them so that they could further tell me off and get the last word in…thereby proving my point. I’ve been propositioned repeatedly and crudely. Men have tried to con me more times that I can count, to the point that I am suspicious of anyone who tells me they’re getting off the site, and to call them. Now, I want to look you in the eye, in person, and see that you’re a real boy. I’ve even gotten myself a fake phone number to further protect myself from the multitudes of scammers I’ve run across. And if you text me at 3am… then guess what?… I bet you’re calling from a different time zone… and not actually a real boy. So your voice really means nothing to me. I want to see the whites of your eyes.
I’ve started a book of short stories. One day, this may be a one-woman show: “Single in Silicon Valley, The Musical.” Thus far, response has been positive. I think it has promise.
At any rate, the moral of the story is, I want to meet you in person. I don’t think it’s ever a waste of time to meet someone, even if it goes nowhere. In my opinion, it is a bigger waste of time to go on endlessly with texts and phone calls and stories, only to meet and see that there is no chemistry at all. You just can’t tell that over the phone. At least I can’t. It’s an even bigger waste of time to give you my phone number so that you can pretend you live here, and never actually meet me. So I know you want a phone number. Forgive me if I’m not enthusiastic to give it to you. I want to meet you. And if you really want a relationship, then you want to meet me too.
I sing, I write songs with a partner, more occasionally than frequently these days, and I record music. I love musicians, but not the pot. I'm logical, rational and mathematically minded. My mind works quickly, and I see many answers to one seemingly simple question. So my next question is, "What do you mean?" I slip in quick one-liners. I'm educated, and self sufficient. I have an old-world upbringing by a Greek family. That directly conflicts with my independent nature and left-leaning-views... Take me or leave me. I always make an impression. All of that is who I am. And I won't apologize for it, because I rather like me. I hope you like you. Because I'll see it if you don't.
***It is important to me that you are as grounded as I am. Don’t get me wrong… I can be as goofy as they come… I do have a background in musical theatre after all… that doesn’t just go away. But I know how to be an adult, and how to be stable and responsible. I’m just looking for someone who’s come as far as I have and knows what he wants in life. Educated, employed, and I cannot stress AGE APPROPRIATE enough. He’s ready for a monogamous relationship and a family, and he’s ready to make it happen, hopefully, with me! Let’s meet sooner rather than later, shall we?***
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
I am soooo bad at planning dates... I come from a long line of micromanagers... so I'd just as soon leave the planning to someone else. Therefore I humbly leave that in your hands. I'd like to stay away from extreme sports on the first date, but ya know... I'm pretty open to suggestions.