Before I get into why you've reached the end of your search, allow me to assuage the top concerns from EVERY profile - I have a place to live, a job, and a way to get between the two. I love my mom but I don't live with her. I know - got it goin' on, right? I'm sure you can barely keep yourself from messaging me, but wait, there's more...
I can carry on a conversation without checking my phone (Unless it rings of course. Then I gotta get it - you know, secret agent stuff.) I know the difference between their, there, and they're and I can give specific examples of the usage of each. Don't ask for that on the first date though. I am a decent man with standards and I don't like to discuss intimate details like grammar until at least the third date. Speaking of dates, I own an iron and I know how to use it and NO, I'm not talking about golf clubs! I don't even like golf or the hideous pants it requires.
Now is an acceptable time to send me a message.
Still reading, huh? I see you are not easily persuaded by allusions to fashion-conscious retirees on the links in valeur leisure suits. Being the gentleman I am, I caution you, what lies beyond is the stuff of mythical profile legend. Dare I say, if this profile had a Like button, you might just click it.
I like sports and a few shows but I don't want to spend all my time watching tv. I like to catch a movie every now and then but I rather enjoy not having a gut, so I prefer spending my time outdoors experiencing life and making my own memories rather than watching others make theirs. (See, I used it right :p )
I'm also a fan of dining out, shopping and chocolate. Nutella is an emotional experience. True story - The only tears I have ever shed were during the great Nutella shortage of '08. Don't remember it? Lucky you for being able to repress it. I can only huddle in the shower and implore the heavens "WHY!?!?!"
If you're not sold on shopping and chocolate, you must have a resolve of steel and I'm wondering why you read this far? Maybe it's because you can't tear yourself away from such delightful prose? Maybe it's just funny and you'll enjoy laughing at my vain attempts to win your affection later with your friends? Maybe one of them is the peanut butter to my chocolate. Nope. She doesn't deserve it. You want this! You NEED this!
But now, you have reached the the end and you have a decision to make. Are you really gonna pass all this up? Aren't you searching for a fun time, great conversation, and a guy full of personality (and yummy candy)? You always said you wanted a smart funny guy!
You already know you're hilarious, smart, kind, interesting, fun, fit, confident and cute. I'm sure to be into you!
What are you waiting for?? Find out why Entertainment Weekly calls me "the best date a girl could ever want."
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Let's hit Starbucks and come up with a lie to tell people how we met.