I was on Ok Cupid in 2013 and the first woman I met from there resulted in the best and longest relationship I've ever had. So, looks like I'm batting a thousand when it comes to this internet dating phenomenon and wanted to give POF a shot (not paying for dating applications).
The user name pretty much speaks for itself...I'm a simple character. I don't own a computer, only have a smart phone because work requires it, have zero social media accounts, and pay my bills by US Mail. I have little fashion sense, my music knowledge is poor, only cook about five things, I don't celebrate my birthday, and work on the holidays which you're off for.
I don't have any friends from high school, the friends I have I can count on one hand, and don't mingle with my co-workers outside of work. However, I'd do anything for those four friends and I work harder than a Midwestern farm boy in the peak of harvesting.
I prefer comfort which means I have no problem wearing sweatpants and most of my underwear I've been wearing since college. Yes, I graduated college. Amongst the drugs, alcohol, and Xbox, I managed to find the library every day and got my degree in four years. I like to think I'm smart, but somehow 5th grade spelling and comprehension reading continues to stump me. However, I can bang out some long division with the best elementary school kids out there. I do understand difference between one & won, two & to, and no & know, so maybe I’m not all that dumb.
My favorite season of the year is baseball season. I drink my beer out of a can and can't stand coffee from Starbucks. I only eat one meal a day and it's not breakfast or lunch. I have two dogs who aren’t allowed in my bed, but somehow I find myself waking up next to them every morning. I'm in bed by 2200 and up by 0430 each morning. I have no tv in my room, so if you’re a “Real Housewives of wherever they are now” you are out of luck.
I groom myself once a week, don't own a razor, and I get haircuts but have not the slightest idea on how to style hair. It will take me no more than 10 minutes to get ready for a night out(that is from showered to dressed), usually wear my jeans for five days straight, I brush my teeth in the shower, hate when I cut a fingernail too short, and enjoy q-tips a lot.
I'm don't eat sweets, however I'll bow down for a raspberry cheesecake cookie from Subway and enjoy some red velvet cake. I eat watermelon every day in the summer, but am not good at cutting it. I like my water with whole ice cubes and no lemon, don't drink soda, and can eat 50 raw oysters in one sitting.
There is this wonderful and smart and funny little boy in my life who means the absolute world to me and he will always come first.
If the above hasn't totally appalled you, then you may continue on and message me. However don't message me if you have shirtless bathroom selfy pictures in your profile. Don't message me with just "hey" or some variation of the word. Please don’t push your religious views on me or try to sell me anything. And I'm not looking to hook up as I've done plenty of that in my twenties. Also, I'm in the process of teaching myself sign language, so bonus points if you know how to sign.
***References upon request***
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Something that would sweep you of your feet and be a truly memorable...a sixer on ice, listening to the O's game on the deck with a cold one in hand. You can do wine if you'd like, but I know nothing about wine.