I was uncool before uncool was cool. I'm 6'1" 15 lbs. I'm a zombie hunter and dragon slayer. I can fly but only on tuesdays. I can make small amounts of air in the air. It's actually not that impressive. I can run really fast. Wanna see me run to china and back? Wanna see me do it again? An apple a day keeps the doctor away...unless your allergic to apples. I love it when you do that thing...you know...that thing. I can honestly say I've never given a reach-around to an alligator. Broken fingers hurt. You can't dry hump someone in the rain. I wanna tickle a sword swallower with a turtle (I actually just recently met a sword swallower and it's about to get awkward. Wow... thats a big chicken. Clothing and alcohol don't mix. If you run around an echo circle while staring at the center you will see the opening to a new dimension. I'm the reason why people pull out. I can be fun about 75% of the time. I'm a flying squirrel. When I grow up im gonna make toast. I've always wanted to tape a steak to my back and run from dogs. I wanna see a picture of someone taking a picture of them self when they are jumping off of a really tall building, while keeping a non-screaming look on their face. Like they should look happy or something. I have seven genital piercings. My last words are gonna be "I bet I can". Well either that or "radio flip" because what else would you say in that situation? I'm not crazy im just annoying. don't like it? LEARN TO SMILE!!!1!one1 If someone stole your testicles and had sex with someone using your testicles, is it your kid? I wanna give someone a bunch of acid and tell them they can control what bears are thinking. One time I hit a steering wheel and told people I was cool but they didn't believe me. I can make birds fly but nobody cares. I can't figure out how to free the people trapped in my phone. Cats are not water proof. When I was drunk I invented alcohol. I don't know how I got drunk the first time but it's a lot easier now. Time flys when your launching clocks into the air. I come with batteries so I just keep going and going and going. If you put my batteries in backwards I just keep cumming and cumming and cumming. You'll only find me if I want you to. NO! just "no". Maybe later if you play your cards right. So if your looking for a good time sorry. Can't help ya.
...or can I?
MAGIC DISAPPEARING SPELL!
It only worked on my pants. Well, this is awkward.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Looking for someone to get to know for now and maybe hang out with in person later.
I have a bit of social anxiety and get random anxiety attacks so I'm sometimes shy in person but around the right people, I'm silly, fun and I will most likely make you smile.