KingOfTheUnicorns: You won't want to not read this.
Smokes Often with Average body type
Hot springs, Arkansas
46 year old Male, 6' 1" (185cm), Christian - other
Caucasian, Scorpio
KingOfTheUnicorns is looking for a relationship.
Some college

I dont always have a cop haircut. I hate cops, actually.

I am Seeking a Woman For Long Term
Needs Test View his relationship needs Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? No
Hair Color Brown Eye Color Brown
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Over 5 years How ambitious are you? Somewhat Ambitious
Pets No Pets  

About Me
Let's see. I've been on here before, left, and now I've returned.

I was married LONG ago and have no kids. I like kids- we have a lot in common. They're easy to be around. Sometimes women are not, and that's why I don't have kids. People say that relationships are hard, but I think that they're with the wrong person. Or making it hard. Which is why I'm single. It's not hard.

I like building things. I also kinda like breaking things. If you happen to live in an empty house, and like mid-century modern, you've hit the jackpot.

I'm logical, but not always practical.

I believe in God. Actually, I don't believe- I know. Armchair theology is fun.

I move my amp onto the porch and crank it up late at night, because I assume that everyone loves Motorhead. Someone nearby probably hates me.

I don't watch sports. Couldn't care less about them. I also don't hunt. If you do- fine- bring home a cow.

I'm a backpacker.

Here's a tip- you know the hairstyle where you pull your bangs straight back while your sides flap like curtains? It doesn't look good on ANYONE. Here's another: if your page has all of your girly bits hanging out, and you then go on to complain that you're sick of messages from perverts, you're an idiot. And if you don't want any contact from them, why is your entire "About me" section speaking to them?

I don't drink much beer, but Martinis and Scotch are terrified of me.

I mainly watch cartoons.

I don't listen to country music, much classic rock, or whiny emo shit. I grew up on punk, if that matters to anyone.

I hate antique furniture.

I spent a summer in North Dakota. I can't recommend it.

I make my own sushi

I smoke a pipe. Sometimes I carve my own pipes. Sometimes I smoke cigarettes to impress the chicks.

My best friend is a Corgi.

I have a lifelong passion for learning. About almost everything.

I have a lot of clothes.

I'm punctual.

I'm probably boring to people who meet me, because I'm an observer in social situations.

I think that there are too many books written by people who have nothing interesting to say.

That's enough sentences that start with "I".

As far as what I'm looking for in a lady- I should address that. Someone who isn't a social conservative and avoids blue eye shadow are musts.
I don't tell people what to do, and I don't wanna be told what to do. We're grown-ups. We can do what we want. That said, I also think that traditional gender roles are effective in maintaining long-term relationships. I should probably mention that I DO have a dominant personality, but that's part of being a Scorpio, according to the experts. If you're a lady, I'll treat you like one. I want forever. I want passion.

In general, I return what I'm given tenfold. In the case of unpleasantness, twentyfold. If you like me, I'll like you more. If you're a princess with a long list of demands and nothing to offer in return, you should re-evaluate your mindset before seeking a relationship. If your page contains any variant of "Move along", I'll assume that you're dismissive and arrogant, and you should leave me alone. If all you can manage to write on your page is "Just ask", well, that's not enough information for me to determine if I even care to ask. It also makes you sound as if you're too lazy to form a few sentences, so I'll assume that you're also too lazy to get off of the sofa for a date.

Everyone says that they're not looking for one night stand. I'm not either, since I already have two night stands.

You girls whine about guys with no shirts. I'll whine that 2 out of 3 girls on this site sound like they're just looking for something to criticize. Topless guys are far less offensive than petty personalities.

Someone genuinely nice would be a good qualifier, I guess. That's rare enough.

I'm capable of having a real conversation, and I hate small talk.

I don't date more than one girl at a time, and would probably like it if you didn't date girls at all. I feel guilty if I CHAT with more than one person at a time, and you should, too.

If you click "Meet me", you'd better have your shoes on.

Don't put me in your "favorites" if you don't have time to send a message.

Is everyone here just window shopping or what? Does anyone actually try and meet? I'm not here to waste my time. Call me a Luddite, but I look forward to being OFFline. I get bored, staring at a screen. Quickly.
If you're terrified of meeting someone from the internet, why in the hell are you on a dating site? Let's do something!

I'll add more as it seems relevant.

Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Her name was Patty. I was 5. She was 6. She lived next door. I was turned on by the fact that she was older. We made out in the space between my bed and the wall. My mom caught us and thought it was cute. Her mom disagreed. We were torn apart, like Romeo and Juliet. It's been a series of less exciting first dates since then...