How does one do this without sounding like a used car salesman? My upholstery isn't perfect, I don't have that new car smell, i'm not the most attractive model, not everything is perfect under the hood and i don't think i come with a warranty. I hope that you accept people despite their quirks and shortcomings, their faults and their fears. I am merely a lost human, i have my faults. My quirks will test your patience, without attempting to or realizing it, I may hurt your feelings. I hope you can overlook these things while still encouraging my best. I hope i can do the same for you.
Let's try to give a representation of me...
5 years ago, my stomach started to ache and it never really stopped. some days are better, some are worse, but it's always present. I've been seeing doctors this whole time and still don't have a concrete diagnosis. this article pretty much sums up my life: http://www.vice.com/read/living-with-ibs-456?utm_source=vicefbus people don't really grasp that is more than a slight tummy ache like you may get if you destroy a fair share of plates at Home Town buffet. it can be downright brutal and crippling and embarrassing.
I work as a TA at a special needs school.But not cute special needs like autism or down; the ADHD type, the type that cuss you out, the type that are socially up to pace, but can't spell their own name, the type that did too many drugs and went away to rehab and are back in a real classroom for the first time in years. Before that i was a live-in caretaker for a woman with MS and her autistic daughter. It could be said i have the patience of a saint. the kids think i'm a big goofball who tell worse dad jokes than their dads. at least, the students that don't think im an ***hole think im funny.
Theoretically: im an adventurer. i used to be heavy into the outdoors. I rock climbed and backpacked. Hiked and cycled. camp any free moment i had.
realistically: my stomach keeps me from most things i enjoy. i still have a thirst for movement so i cycle as much as i can. which usually isn't as much as i want.I love cycling, it would be cool if you did too. There are plenty of things I enjoy. But as a single person, there are only a couple things that I consistently engage in. Ive become sort of a homebody. I like to dabble in cooking and baking--doesn't a chocolate chip, coconut, almond cookie sound delicious? I once got excited because a set of pyrex was on sale. I laugh a lot. At everything. From the morbid and offensive to the silly, horrible dad puns. I think board games are the perfect addition to any house party, especially Cranium or scrabble. Sometimes i dress up like a zombie when it's not even Halloween. I like to dress up, in general. I play words with friends obsessively, but i'd rather play a real game of scrabble or boggle and have a real conversation with you. I like long drives to nowhere with good music and company. maybe you could show me some new things to get in to? and of course, i netflix it up all the time.
I like to write poetry, like a lot. its cathartic. ultimately hope to have it all sorted out and publish my work to the kindle store or something similar. And then i also like to recite it at open mic. this is pretty important to me. i try to share at at least one open mic a week. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/poetryunpoetically my tumblr if any are curious
I know the difference between "they're", "their", and "there"
I don't take life too seriously.
Unlike most men, i don't really lose my shirt over sunday football. I don't particularly enjoy watching or playing sports outside of those already mentioned. Yes, climbing and cycling are sports.
I have the tendency to be vulgar, to say really off color things, creepy things, to find the line that shouldn't be crossed and sprint passed it. I am probably offensive if you are the get-offended-easily type. sometimes, more like rarely, i write really sweet poetry.
I like a whole lot of music. Sometimes even rap and country. I draw the line at norweigan black metal. My favorite music includes, but is not limited to: radiohead, royksopp, fleet foxes, daft punk, blonde redhead, IAMX, miike snow, feist, the do.
I've been without a significant for quite some time to that point where the loneliness is more comfortable than the fear of meeting someone new. You terrify me. I hope we can work past that.
I'm pretty sure there's a lot of stuff i left out.
I want peace. No more do i want to be the only person in the relationship that gives with all his heart. I want someone to be excited about, who's heart races when they're with me, too. I want to hold hands and steal kisses at red lights. To challenge each other outside of our firmly established comfort zones, but be ready to catch the other person if it's too much. I want someone to go on adventures with, or who can make even the grocery store or the farmers market an adventure. I want to be part of your life, not just something hiding on the side. I want to love and be loved, not for a night or for a week, but ultimately, for a lifetime
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
I like those dates that just start off as simply as catching a cup of coffee maybe even scrabble included, but then you discover that you're so enthralled with the other person that you keep finding things to do so as not to separate, like an impromptu visit to check out the latest moca exhibits, or a hike to a neat spot that overlooks the valley, or hell, even joining the other person on their mundane errands just so you don't have to wait to see them again. I'm sorry if you were hoping for something like... dinner at delmonico's, then to a bar, maybe a club. Unless it's a comedy club, that's a possibility. I'd like to go climbing with you, even if it's your first time. I have an extra bicycle if you'd like to do that, too. I'm pretty easily satisfied, hopefully you are, too.