ObviousFakename: I got bit by a donkey once
Smokes Often with Average body type
Apple valley, California
35 year old Male, 6' 2" (188cm), Other
Other Ethnicity, Gemini
ObviousFakename wants to date but nothing serious.
Some college
Starving Artist
Roguish Cut-purse & Scallywag

I imagine this is the first step on my way to becoming Gary Busey....

I am Seeking a Woman For Friends
Needs Test View his relationship needs Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? Socially
Hair Color Brown Eye Color Hazel
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Under 1 year How ambitious are you? Not Ambitious
Pets Dog Second Language Other

About Me
I am extremely awkward... not in the adorable way either, in the acquired taste resulting in loving or hating... or complete indifference... I have no tattoos because I want to be different and not fit in....If you have tattoos because you like them, cool, if you have them to be different and original, take a look around you and see how different you really aren't. Same thing with vegetarians, if you do it to be healthy or you just want to, cool, if you do it because it hurts animals, well then keep killing plants that can't even run away and come back back when you realize that you were living in a fantasy world where life didn't feed on life.

Ever since I got out of the mental hospital, I haven't been able to get a job. Couldn't get a boner long before that. Apparently I've been balding for a while but the sneak attack just barely became noticeable. I have no money, rent a room at a friends house, drive a 2000 civic. I don't really like being around people because most people generally suck. Whenever I do find somebody worth hanging out with, they are usually the only one at the moment, they get sick of me fairly quickly except the ones that are going to be around forever.... So I guess that system is working out for me. I'm currently selling most of my possessions in case squatters rights don't really pan out.I don't really drink often but for some reason the only friends I have that stick around either are, or become bartenders.... Hmm... also just realized the people that want to hang out with me but I don't want to hang out with them because their ratio of dumb to useful things said is largely in the former, yeah they usually become hopeless drug addicts, hopeless in the sense that the person is no longer there, all they are are a shell with scavenger tendencies... Maybe I shouldn't be such a****

This "&" is called an ampersand, now you might have learned something from this.

My favorite compliment to give is, "You look like a fancy prostitute." I know it will almost always be taken negatively but I get a kick out of saying it.

I like to play acoustic versions of rap/R&B music because it's hilarious to me,
Person - "Do you know any Zeppelin?"
Me - "Nah, their songs are all about hobbits but I can do Pony by Ginuwine"

I want to give creative writing exercises based on tail ends of conversations, where the goal is to write up to that point, this is gonna be the first one, "No, but I got a midget in a clown suit."

I often dream of running thru glass windows. I'm built like gumby and am inexplicably flexible.

I was sad when the rapture didn't happen because, 1, I wanted to invent a sport called rapture rodeo, and B, My birthday would have been the first day of Zombies.... Zombie apocalypse, my only potentially unattainable goal. *Shakes fist at science*

My goal in life is to have a lawn so I can yell at whippersnappers and rapscallions to get off of it.

I believe that the role of Nate Dogg, the guy who comes in and sings the hook for rappers and saves their song but is incapable of a solo career, should be given to Micheal Bolton.

GWWA! Somebody write me, I'm good at replying but suck at initiating conversation... plus I'm bored... and cold... and there are wolves after me... well... not really wolves... nor are they coming after me... it's just Los Lobos playing in a car driving by so it sounds like wolves are chasing me.

I've been told I should probably be a comedy writer..... but I think with all my long winded diatribes and over all feeling of confusion with nothing really said, I should write political speeches.


This line reserved for something clever *coming Christmas/Kwanzaa 2015*

Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Checkers and/or scrabble. Tiebreaker will be settled in Bingo Battleship, where all your moves are decided by an old lady with a bingo ball cage... I just made that up(possibly already exists but I'm unaware of it) but think that could actually work in a bingo hall environment with like thirty players, last player whose ships weren't all bingo'd is the winner.

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