Carenlancona: One Cool Chicken Wing Woman
Non-Smoker with Athletic body type
Laguna beach, California
52 year old Female, 5' 5" (165cm), Non-religious
Caucasian, Taurus
Carenlancona is looking for a relationship.
Masters Degree
Gold Fish bowl maintenance technical engineer

April 2016

I am Seeking a Man For Long Term
Needs Test View her relationship needs Chemistry View her chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Does not want children
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? No
Hair Color Blond(e) Eye Color Green
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Over 10 years How ambitious are you? Very Ambitious
Pets Dog Second Language English

About Caren
I do believe that the right relationship can feel like freedom if you are in sync. Freedom for me is walking on the beach in the morning, doing a variety of workouts throughout the day between work and play.

I'm looking for a guy that can fake that he is sophisticated and make me laugh while he's doing it. Thirsten Howell III meets Vince Vaugh meets Steve Martin/Jim Carey all rolled into one tall hot nugget of fun. Although, I think Jim Carey might get irritating after a half hour now.

If you get offended easily or are super liberal we won't get along. I'm really nice, but I'm also a no excuses in life type. I've got it together and so should you. If you are looking for a classy, special woman that can find heart shapes in clouds then you better not ask me out. I know how to fake it when needed, but I'm really just a chick that loves to laugh and hangout. I'd rather ride a skateboard than drive in a Bentley.

I wake up super happy and excited like a puppy and I want my partner to embrace that and be fun with me. If you wake up grumpy or go to bed grumpy or are grumpy for no reason then you need a hen and I'm a chicken.

I could be perfectly happy in a bikini on a tropical island, fit as can be, a tequila and diet coke with lime at sunset everyday for the rest of my life. If I could have that, I'd throw all my ambition out the window.

Everyone always asks why I'm single and on POF. Here is the answer: He likes her, she likes my guy, I like the guy over there, but he likes the other guys girl, the music started and we all switched chairs and now he likes the girl sitting next to him, the music stopped and I fell on the floor, I thought the right guy picked me up off the floor, but he stole my wallet. I thought I lost my boyfriend, but quickly learned I only lost my turn and when the music stopped again he was sitting next to me, but then the music started again and dammit all if I didn't lose my chair again. Shucks, this stuff is tough! Did I answer that well enough?

I'm not looking for a regular guy. I am looking for someone who knows he is extraordinary, stands 10 feet high and glows of confidence, but not arrogance. My guy should be looking for the same things out of our future. A house on the water, a boat on the dock, a pair of kayaks and bikes, tennis rackets that get used, a BBQ in the backyard that see our friends often and a place to call our chill spot. I can buy my own fancy dinners, but what I really want is someone who is thrilled to have the opportunity for the rest of our lives. If I was a guy I would want to be him and if he was my guy I would want to be me.

1.) Its important to have someone who helps at home & knows how to cook, clean & has a job
2.) Its important to have someone who can make you laugh..
3.) Its important to have someone you can trust & wants only you..
4.) Its important to have someone who is good in bed & enjoys being with you..
5.) Its absolutely vital that these 4 people dont know each other!

PS- I thank you in advance for sending me a message. If I don't reply, please don't take it personally. I know what I want and what I'm looking for so please understand, it's nothing personal. I just don't think that we're a great match is all. I do wish you all the very best in your search!

Note: If your profile states you live in a city that you don't or your age is significantly different than what you put (+/- 3) then we won't make it past the 1st date. I believe lying at the beginning is an indicator of ethical issues. I don't want to waste anyones time and I don't want mine wasted either.

Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
We decide to meet in a remote location where you have planned something special. As I’m driving through an old deserted dirt town in my hot pink 1964 convertible Ford Fairlane I get a flat tire in one of my perfect white walls. There isn’t anything for miles except tumbleweed andaa hole in the wall pub. I pull in to see a few locals sitting on a bench out front staring intensely as I pull in. There are a motley few inside and even the lazy dogs outside look unemployed and drunk. It’s over 100 degrees outside and even hotter inside the sticky dirty bar.

I’m dressed in a sheer white flowing summer dress that buttons all the way down and shimmering extra tall heels like an updated version of the very sexy Candies from years past.

I walk into the pub to be greeted by a haggard fat woman who reeks of whisky. She spits out her chewing tobacco and says "what el ya have pretty lady"? She points to a warm beer and a knock off bottle of Jack Daniels with a few fruit flies dancing around the bottle.

I shake my head no thanks and start to unbutton the top buttons on my dress because it is so hot. A glow of sweat appears on my tanned skin as I hear the roar of a shiny new silver Mclaren pull up outside and I turn to look.

In slow motion, I walk to the car curious who it is. You open the door and get out wearing a black tuxedo; you are handsome and debonair like James Bond.

You swiftly pull two champagne flutes out of the exotic sports car and then put them in your pockets. Then you pull out a bottle of 7 UP dripping with small pieces of ice. You twist the cap off the bottle and it sprays in the air over my head in a perfect mist. I tilt my head back and open my mouth to take in the shower of cold 7 UP. My dress is now see through from the spray. You pour two cold glasses of bubbling 7 UP. The announcer says “There is nothing cooler than 7 UP on a first date”.

I write a lot of scripts and TV commercials for my work, so what do you think of that one?

NOTE TO YOURSELF: I will not respond to a message for the following reasons:
1. No Pictures or just one. I've learned that one picture means you just have one good picture that you don't look like.
2. No guys Under age 44 and if you are over 45 and make your age group look bad then we have a lying issue. P.S. You may look good for your age, but everyone looks their age. So if you put 50 as your age, but you are 60 you look 60. That is just the way it is. Plastic surgery cannot hide the little things like thickness of skin around the eyes, the neck, skin tone and pigmentation.
3. You are a dork, your teeth are jacked up and you apparently don't know what standards are.
4. You live away from the ocean by more than 10 miles, or away from me more than 20 miles.
5. Your legs are crossed like a woman in one of your photos. You seem feminine. More than half of you look gay.
6. I can tell how much you drink by your skin.
7. You

Gifts Received

Mail Settings
To send a message to Carenlancona you MUST meet the following criteria:
Older than 40
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
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Must not do drugs
Must not be married
Must not smoke