Free to a good home!
I'm happy with my career, the way my kids have blossomed into adults, my home and my life in general. With one exception - no one to come home to.
Needs a little body work, some joints replaced and a complete tune-up. The brain-to-mouth filter is permanently damaged. Motor purrs like a kitten when treated well but has trouble kicking into gear if left stagnant. Brakes sometimes fail. Definitely a diamond in the rough.
Here are the TOP TEN ways you could melt my cold, cold heart (not mandatory, just suggestive):
10 End every phone call with "Later Dude!"
9 After dinner, suggest we go have some alone time with Guitar Hero
8 Don't complain that the toilet seat is up, be happy that I didn't sprinkle it
7 Know the difference between a USB cable and the UPS man
6 When any song by The Beastie Boys is playing, crank it up to 11
5 Discover a method by which you can be 'public presentable' that takes less than 15 minutes
4 Use the paper plates
3 I'll wash and dry if you'll fold and put away
2 Realize that a throw pillow sometimes has to follow its true calling
1 Know when I've reached my Lifetime/Oxygen channel limits and drop in a superhero movie
May 2017 update - I've been going to the gym 3x a week since the beginning of the year and am improving my shadow's profile, so I hope to find someone who is also taking care of their physical appearance. It may sound harsh but I don't date "big" girls.
I seem to be most attracted to beauticians and nurses... maybe I like the attentive, caregiving type? Maybe I need to try something completely different?
Serious inquiries only, please. I'm no longer sending initial messages, far too many woman are RUDE AS HELL and don't even reply with a "I don't think we're a good match." You want to talk to me? Send the first message. I guarantee you that I'll reply. You may not like it but I will reply.
Just trying to find the ONE woman who is my world, and I'm her's. You out there? Yes, I'm a romantic but I never liked Tom and Jerry cartoons and I won't play cat and mouse with you! You're either in or out.... motorcycles are made for riding, not fences.
For the love of everything holy, try and be interesting! Boring people SUCK! "Hey there!" or "Hello there!" is just going to be deleted.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
I'd like the first date to be somewhere fun, public and quiet enough to have a real conversation. Let's see if there's sparks and we can go from there.