splataus: if i make you smile, i get points for that, right?
Smokes Occasionally with Athletic body type
Savannah, Georgia
45 year old Male, 5' 11" (180cm), Non-religious
Caucasian, Cancer
splataus wants to date but nothing serious.
Some University
Security Technican

In the Mountains - - - Official Camera bag Holder 2011

I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? No
Hair Color Blond(e) Eye Color Blue
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? Yes
Longest Relationship Over 10 years How ambitious are you? Somewhat Ambitious
Pets Cat Second Language German

About Me
My Two Minute Story

I'm 39, been married, had 2 amazing children, and gotten divorced. Well, hopefully it only took about 9 seconds to read that!

The You Portion Of This ( i.e. "what interests me" ) - Very Important

Single (i.e. Divorced, Never Married, Physically and Emotionally Separated, whatever.....just not skeezing around on some one else)

Sweet, Lovable, Devious ( at least the kind of devious that is fun )


OMG - Honest ( I'm learning to be a lot more honest with myself )

A tattoo or two is encouraged, I guess it can't be mandatory ( should be though ) Not A Deal Breaker!

Should be able to withstand a barrage of movie quotes

SILLY! / GOOFY! / Whatever, just not so serious all the time.

Have a working knowledge of particle physics, in lieu of that, have at least a basic understanding of the plot line in Star Wars - GOOD VS. EVIL, or my lightsaber is more bada$$ than yours.

Please have an intoxicating laugh or at least a cackle that would make a witch envious.

Mentally Stable at least equal to or more than me. ( Christ look at this profile, I may be a little cuckoo)

A little outdoorsy / active

Well enough of that for now.

The About Me Portion Of This

***NOTE*** I am not an all around goof ball, but you can't take life to seriously, you'll never get out alive ( Stolen From Tara Reid ).......Look, I'm 39, grownup and take on my responsibilities, I am really looking for that one person that makes a relationship worth having, until then, I date. Below is the stuff that makes me unique.***END OF SIDE NOTE***

I am silly / "wickedly funny" / slightly retarded, not in that I have to wear a helmet, but just my worldview and outlook on things.

Honest and Loyal ( it's really important, dammit!)

I have two kids. ( they live with their mom, far away ---- when they are around, no one else exists)

I am a hopeless romantic, can't help it, won't deny it. ( I have always wanted the person that I'm in love with to be the last)

I will decide at the last minute to go and do something, some people call that spontaneous, I call it Tuesday Night.

I have been to 47 states and Canada.

Breakfast is my favorite meal and yogurt is my favorite snack!

I love animals, except spiders, and snakes and skinks and skunks and salamanders, I guess if I had to sum it up, I love animals except ones whose names start with the letter " S ".

I love Psych, Justified, Bones, and NCIS.

I feel like I am at least 10 ten years younger than I am. Heck 12 years.

I make friends for life, don't believe me, get to know me.

My musical Artist Du Jour is Wyclef.

I like to play darts, play pool, play soccer, have plastic lightsaber battles with my son and my nephews, whitewater raft, canoeing, vegging on the beach, going hiking, hanging out with my friends, getting away for a day or two to places I have never been, reading, making jewelry, building things, fixing things, etc

I speak three languages, working on a fourth.

I have manners! Thank you very much!

Favorite Movies - Lord of The Rings, Love Actually, Star Wars Episode 6, 50 First Dates, and Willow.

If I got to pick who would play me in my life story, it would be Brendan Fraser or Wayne Rooney.

I am a Punk / Irish Punk Music Lover - - - Descendants, Exploited, Dropkick Murphy's, Flogging Molly, then from there is Reggae, Top 40 and catchy country music.

Legally and EMOTIONALLY divorced, I get along about 99% of the time with my ex wife. Well 83%. This is trending upward again.

I am really laid back in my head.

If I fell out of a tree, I would like to land on a fat person dressed as Santa Claus, inversely if some one fell out of a tree and landed on me, I would want it to be the smallest elf.

I have tattoos, I regret none of them, thank you very much....... That being said, you can take me out in public, I don't look like I just rolled out of San Quentin.

I can be almost as romantic as I can be wacky.

I'm sweet, like cotton candy, not as sticky though.

I own each and every one of my mistakes, surprisingly, most people don't.


1. Soulmate and solemate are not interchangeable. If you have to think about it, click the RED X at the top right corner.

2. People who put pictures of your young kids on your profile, are you freaking retarded? If you have to think about it, reference the instructions regarding the RED X in Item One.

3. Body Types - - - This goes to honesty

4.If I send you a Message, have the common courtesy to at least reply, I never, ever, neverever am rude or ask about your anatomy etc. Even if its just "buzz off smacktard"

5. 2 and to and too mean three different things. Figure that out and hit me back.

6. "my child / children / kid / kids / offspring are my world" is the most overused expression on POF, be more original.

7. The " Public Bathroom Mirror Shot" What the heck?

TO BE CONTINUED.............. Suggestions, Comments and Complaints can be forwarded directly to user by use of the message feature

Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
First Date? Something low key, gotta be coffee, frozen yogurt/ice cream, a drink and darts, it is really just a meet and greet to see if we are, who we say we are. ( you know, make sure you are not some dude named Gerald and to verify that I am not Nicole, the ex-girlfriend of your ex-boyfriend intent on collecting fingernail clippings from you or whatever) If everything is cool, play it by ear!

Or....... we could grab a couple of "beach cruisers" and play tourist down on the boardwalk, take a break, grab a bite or drink, drop off the bikes, run and get crazy temporary tattoos or real ones, walk back to the cars and say good day /evening. Or....... grab trench coats, super soakers, and hit the town, hopefully we will not have to find out who is the slowest runner.......Or, you think of something wacky.

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