i am here because, lets face it, this is how we meet these days. I don't hang out in bars, not that bars really exist much anymore, but yikes! 54 year old chick hanging out at a bar? no thanks.
I would love to meet someone to talk to, get to know and do things with and of course.. laugh.
I love to cook, love wine, shopping, .being outdoors, being indoors, water, trying new things, work in the yard.. have fun.. and yeah.. sex is great... agreed. NOT going to happen date 1.... date 2.... etc..........
i like the survery under first date.. i saw that somewhere, and stole it... thought i was hilarious.... ok.. another point.. YOU MUST HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
Music: Country, and Classic Rock (i do not like Zepplin.. please don't hate me.. i just don't like them... not a deal breaker for me... although.. i will most likely mock you for your zepplin love for all eternity), NO RAP (since, of course, it isn't music)
Pets: I love animals better than most people. I have a cat... NO i will not get rid of my cat for you.
Politics and religion: conservative Christian.
Your pictures: take the shades off please:) and thank you
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
stole this from someone else....its hilarious!
Thank you for your interest. A $10 processing fee may be imposed for incomplete or illegible applications.
Applicant's First Name______________ Applicant's Nickname(s) _____________
Please state specific reason(s) for your last breakup: (Attach additional page if necessary)
Has a restraining order ever been filed against you?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Have you ever been married?
If yes, how many times?
Are you currently married?
Have you ever undergone sexual reassignment surgery?
Are you currently taking any medications?
Do you wax, shave, or pluck other regions of your body?
Do you tan?
Do you partake of recreation drugs? Which ones and how often?
Do you smoke cigarettes/cigars/chew?
How many drinks do you consume on average on a weeknight?
How many drinks do you consume on average on a weekend?
What time do you wake up on weekends?
Which side of the bed do you prefer to sleep? How much time do you spend looking in the mirror per day?
Does it take you longer than fifteen minutes to get ready?
How many psycho exes do you have?
How many exes are you still hooking up with? Do you have any sexual dysfunctions? Do things "work"?
Is there a friends wife you would be with if your friend were to die?
Are you missing any body parts? (arms, eyes, legs, etc...)
How many one night stands have you had in the last six months? 6 weeks? 6 days?
Please specify all fetishes in detail.
Are you a giver (and not necessarily in the financial sense)?
Check applicable sleep conditions:
___ sleep apnea
____other uncontrollable bodily functions
Have you ever dated any of my friends or family members?
Have you ever been suspected of cheating on a former girlfriend? wife?
Do you own cats? dogs?
Any cruelty to animal charges?
Do you like garlic?
Do you have children?
Do you like children?
Do you live alone or with your mother?
Do you have a good relationship with your father? mother?
Are you prone to mood swings or currently taking medication for such?
Do you consider yourself a "Lone Wolf"?
Can you tolerate the company of the same person more than 1 day at a time?
Do you refer to yourself as a "Lone Wolf", yet are rarely alone?
What is your preferred mode of communication?
___ Smoke signal
____social networking site
Describe your perfect first date.
I ATTEST THAT THESE ANSWERS ARE TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY. X_____________________________________
Yes this is meant