I used to hate in school when boys would pull my hair. Funny how things change.
What is dating me like, you ask? Biting into an oatmeal raisin cookie realizing it's chocolate chip only to realize two hours later it was also an edible.
And I'll make you a sandwich.
I have many flaws. But I don't do heroin. So there's that.
It's tough being a single mom. Or so I'm told. I don't have kids.
IU grad- I slang pills to pay the bills.
No baggage. Have your sh*t together please.
I have a thing for tall men with pretty smiles. And men on their cologne game. Yas.
But please don't have a soggy crouton of a personality. I have to be able to connect on a much deeper level than just superficial. I love men with massive, throbbing vocabularies.
Not interested in men significantly older than me. Not here to entertain anyone not over their ex and/or in limbo with what you want. I don't want a hookup. I don't want to join you and your girlfriend/wife. Stop asking. I will end you.
Our relationship should be like Super Nintendo- classic, fun to spend hours with, and every problem easily fixed by blowing on it and shoving it back in.
If you can't laugh at yourself, I probably will.
Loud eaters and mouthbreathers need not apply.
To whomever ends up with me, hurry up. I'm bored.