Hi there.. I have listed a little something I wrote below in order for you to get to know me. It's realllly lennngthyyyyyyyyyyyy but if you have the time (maybe break it up over a few weeknights this week) ha ha ...you will get to learn more about me! I'll start here in this box and use the next box to finish
A door opens. A sophisticated dressed girl enters the room casting a quick glance around at the spartan furnishings. The Interviewer, standing behind a functional looking metal desk, is wearing a grey suit & thin black tie. He gestures to the girl to sit in a straight-backed wooden chair opposite him "Please have a seat."
"Thank you." The girl replies as they both sit. The girl attempts, w/only limited success, to get comfortable in the chair. The Interviewer speaks as he is looking over some papers on a clipboard "So, you are here on Plenty-o-fish looking for a... There is momentary pause as the eyes of the Interviewer search the paper "...a man, is that right?" "Yes." The girl responds with a hopeful voice & a momentary smile "Ah, good." The Interviewer grabs a nearby pen off the desk & begins fiddling w/it absentmindedly as he leans back in his chair & fixes the girl w/a dark-eyed stare "You have been reading the ads?" "Yes, I have." "So you know what men out there want?" The Interviewer leans forward in his chair & raises his brows slightly
"Uh, yes. I think so. I know what they say they want at least. I'm idealing looking for a LTR. Maybe their desired age range seems a bit unrealistic as if to say well I don’t want to rule out any replies for the 20 somethings that are reading my post! So their age range will be something like 20-39 or 20-50 that’s a good one! Makes them seem unfocused, unrealistic, unsure of what hey want, not aware that these two ages are day/night mother/daughter .. crazy, also makes them look desperate, I’d like a guy who knows what he wants." A look of slight nervousness creeps across the girl’s features. A brief, mirthless half-grin crosses the Interviewer's face "Shall we go down the list?" The girl swallows & nods slightly in reply "Are you pretty?" "Yes." The girl bats eyelashes & widens blue eyes/readjusts posture straighter in her chair w/look of confidence entering her face & voice “At least I think I am? I have been told I am by not just my mother! I have never been invited to be a model for anything more than my longish blonde hair but I have had compliments even from other women on my nose, eyes, skin, voice, always my smile! Thanks for the braces mom!” The Interviewer nods/makes a note on his tablet. W/out looking up he continues “Are you thin”……… “uh” “Are you athletic” ….. “uh” “Are you fit” “fitter than some guys might realize, is that what they are really looking for or is it all in the appearance?” "Are you obese, voluptuous, thick, curvy or any other current euphemisms for fat?" The girl shakes her head slightly "No. Well…. Uh personally I think that people out here in cyberspace have abused those terms. I'm carrying maybe ten to fifteen extra pounds, but I have certainly weighed more, am active and smart about keeping it off! I have pleasant curves and truly am blessed with large chest, small waist, big hips body type, no line backer here!” The Interviewer nods and makes a note but being a pro at this, assumes she is 5’ 6” & 140 "Are you buff, fit, athletic, sporty, or have your belly button pierced?" "Uh, no, but I do have some nice muscle definition, am in the gym 3x a week for strength training& am happy to help anyone out with their routine as I am quite versed. I know my way around the weight room and could show you at least 5 different moves to work each muscle group! My stomach although sometimes referred to as “the baby” is still flatish and I have a tan with tan lines going on”The Interviewer looks up at the girl expressionlessly..the girl flexes flashing her bicep "I walk a lot." The girl says by way of explanation, adding after a moment "I also hike/run occasionally, I am a cardio girl (stair climber here) I come w/ my ipod full of energy/old school jams! I have fun with Tennis, bike riding, swimming, yoga,&rollerblading. I’ll chase your kids, wait… do you have kids… uh that are of chasing age? I will try anything at least once… I’ve snow/water/jet skied, jumped from cliff, swam w/dolphins, parasailed, catamaran, helicoptered, atv’d, you name it tag, freeze tag, hide n go seek, mother may I, red rover, steal the bacon, kick the can, heads up 7-up… swim team/gymnastics were specialties of my youth” she attempted……..The Interviewer looks down at his clipboard & continues tonelessly
“Do you like to watch sports” “There it is…. she says “the famous question! Did I mention my nails are real? Ok ok.. I love to get out, period & the Bay Area has so many opportunities to take advantage of spectator sports, I have done them all and willing to do them with him if he loves it Raiders, 9ers, Sharks, Giants, and A’s. Or I’ll buy him tickets or let him spend time w/buddies if he doesn’t want to include me in the tailgate parties… those can be fun…. I’m jus sayin’! I’ll even tolerate some football on TV, attend or throw Superbowl parties. In Fact I went to the World Olympic Games! Haven’t watched basketball, not in to any form of fighting, car racing, but horse racing/gambling in casino.. Is that a sport? I’m on board! I appreciate things like surfing & break dancing………….. what can I say?”
"Do you love to have fun?" A look of genuine puzzlement crosses the girl’s face
"Doesn't everyone?" “When a guys posts this in his ad as much as I do enjoy “fun” I am only interested in entertaining the idea of G rated fun for emails and talk prior to meeting, I’m just sayin’ I am not ruling out all the closet pervs but just be a gentleman up front. It means I want him to share his interests with me, this is an LTR type post so don’t use terms with me like “hook up”, “hang out” or have some fun together… that'll come in time if you’re the one!” “Ok so "And your version of fun would be?" "Oh, besides the usual things, traveling (day, weekend, vacation, exploration, expedition, tour, friend visitin’, distant/exotic country passport stuff) photography, wine tasting, beach,restaurants, gym, hosting game night, spending time w/nephews, gardening, charity events, boating, festival/holiday/seasonal stuff, volunteering, bbq/entertaining friends, gamble, spa, going to concerts, games, parties, snow, I could go on and on but I’ll refrain for now. Sorry maybe rambling is one of my interests?” "Are you funny? Do you make men laugh?" Well I love a funny guy and I love to be funny….Love stand up comedy shows, improv, & have been encouraged to try amateur comedy night/take stage.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Received class clown title senior year & sometimes stuff never changes. I’m easygoing,openminded,down to earth & think finding humor in different situations helps get ya through it! I've been called sharp, quick-witted,charming, charismatic! "Do you love life?" ”Absolutely! would you describe your attitude as unwaveringly positive?" Without hesitation she sits up proudly & replies“Yes! I think it’s contagious she continues! I've recently taken some steps to improve myself spiritually &feel I've started over in life.I'm thankful for what the universe has provided me thus far!” "Are you a natural beauty?” I often go sans makeup but can do a great quick job where I feel the real reward is not having to make my man wait! I'm very feminine & dress the part yet nothing is overdone/gaudy. I have converse/jeans too ya know. I won’t bring nail polish camping, but I want to win hottest chick at the campground award, have gone months w/out doing anything to my hair after washing it, just letting it air dry. I feel Im very versatile, I can ruff it in a ponytail or get all dolled up… again flexibility is the key. Don’t need to shower twice a day,won’t scream if I see a spider, & can appreciate downtime. I'm only medium rugged……Hey! is that the sound of men leaving the room?” asks the girl with a concerned look on her face. "Let's move on. Do you drink? ”Yes” "everything?" I like tea. Don’t drink soda or juice…only if I’ve juiced my own. In the****ail family I’d name wine/martini/margaritas top 3. They call me the water queen what, beer you ask? It serves a purpose… Sushi,Mexican food, or on the boat. Please no big gulpers!” "Do you smoke?" “Only crack” Ouch w/the glare from interviewer!I detest cigarette smoke/not able to tolerate a smoker. Am not 420 friendly enough to call myself that but wouldn’t mind if you partook maybe monthly/didn’t affect your brightness.. your favorite word wasn’t huh & you walked around unmotivated in denial.. off to get a big gulp”…who wants to kiss a smoker or smell the clothes?” "Do you dance?" "Not Dancing with the stars style but I am open to classes. I've had some of the best times in my life out dancing when it wasn’t planned. I have never said .. “let’s go dancing tonight" spontaneity/dancing go hand&hand!Don’t have to be a great dancer, it’s just fun to go out there & enjoy the music w/friends! “Are you independent? OI know what that means! Am I going to mooch off my man &expect him to pay for things..no I'm financially indenpendent, no debt, & very generous. I would hope to be treated the same. We’d buy each other things … there’d be no mooching! Thank you for coming & good luck” They will be in touch "Thank you." ::The girl nods, turns and exits toward the door. The Interviewer watches the girl's sauntering walk through the door in which she came and thinks to himself DAMN! She’s really hot, despite the thickness; whoever ends up with that catch is going to be one lucky fella! As he comes back to reality he shouts NEXT!