I've given thought to many of the profiles that I've seen around here and I perceive a theme that is problematic and also kinda silly (or even stupid and self-defeating). It's kind of like a recipe for something really awful. (A recipe for disaster perhaps.)
The theme (or recipe) is something like:
-Start with a base of, "Here's my long list of qualifications to be my boyfriend."
-Then mix in a dash of, "I don't want to write back and forth for more than a week at most."
-Finally, top it off with a heaping helping of, "Let's meet, preferably across a table, for the interview to determine if you are a good candidate for the job."
-Heat it all up to, "I can figure out if you're going to be a good life partner in about an hour."
Now contrast this approach to what most, if not all, of us did back when we were much younger (and presumably not as wise??) and probably found someone we were married to for a fairly long period of time.
-In our youthful foolishness, we might be friends for months or years before getting serious.
-One date almost always became two and then more. We needed time to get to know one another. One meeting just wasn't enough.
-In the days before email and cell phones, we would write letter after letter, and talk on the phone for hours. I personally wrote letters to a girl in Denmark. These letters crossed the Atlantic for almost two years before she came over here. By the time she got here, we were already in love. Our marriage lasted 26 years, most of them good years.
Did we get so wise in our "old age" that we think we can now figure it all out in one interview?? is communication via instant emails or texts so much worse than communication via snail mail that took days to travel? Is talking on the phone so repugnant now that they are ubiquitous? Is a brief profile now sufficient to tell you almost all you need to know about someone (you just need to augment it with an hour of interviewing)? Is patience now a vice instead of a virtue?
If your profile says things like, "I want to meet soon. If you just want a pen pal, move on." then maybe you need to slow down. Take a good, long time to try getting to know someone. Pretend you're in your foolish, ignorant 20's again rather than your wise, knowing 50's. Remember what a lot of older people told you when you were in your 20's, "Slow down youngster. Don't be in a big rush to make big decisions. You gotta get to know someone before you start thinking about spending your life with them."
Instant emails; instant texts; instant cell phones calls; instant dating; instant finding your perfect soul mate; instantly insistent instantaneousness; instant insanity; ... instant failure.
Anybody want something more than instant? Anyone want something long-term? Anyone want to try acting like we did in our stupid 20's?
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
What do you really want in a relationship? How did you come up with and prioritize those wants?
What's your favorite topic in history, science, art, sociology, psychology, metaphysics. ...?
If a giant meteor were about to destroy the planet, what would you do between now and impact?
What did you learn from your past relationships? What have you done with those lessons? How have you changed because of what you learned?