Former US Marine sergeant of 2nd FAST company and infantry. 14 countries, 2 tours, Expectations are very low, but hey, I'm bored.
PASS IF :
You're a dude
You hate Trump but ALSO think Hillary Clinton is a wonderful person (that means you're an ignorant dipshit)
You have a bathroom selfie with a kid standing behind you in a sagging diaper
You have any downward angled selfie (you're not fooling anyone)
You say you're not looking for a hookup but have pictures of yourself in your underwear.
You say you're "new to the area". No you're not,
You're playing the helpless and ignorant card so a guy will take you to every TripAdvisor attraction within a 100 mile radius.
You're flexing in a gym mirror (yeah that's right, some guys find that annoying too)
You don't actually plan to meet anyone
You think transgender mental cases should be allowed in the military
You're a 'feminist' (why are you even on here?)
You "listen to all types of music, but mostly country and rap"
You have more kids than you can handle alone. (I'm a single dad I can handle 2 on my own, no more)
You don't know the difference between a soldier and a Marine
You regularly say any of these; fleek, bae, rekd, yolo, etc
You took a picture wearing a cap sideways and throwing a peace sign
You are flipping off the camera. (Are you flipping yourself off? Or are you flipping me off and I'm expected to be even more interested?)
You listed "mom" as your profession. (Being a parent is a responsibility, not a job)
You're posing on a crotch rocket in flip flops.
You've never paid any of your own bills
Your friends are whores but you ask them for relationship advice.
You think you should be on a pedestal because you're a single mom, but you judge me because I'm a single dad. I love my girls, I'm a good damn father and they don't need another mom, so get over yourself.
You're over 21 and you put a dog nose and ears on one of your 'selfies'
You list "muddin', fishin', huntin', 4 wheelin', and campin'" as your 'interests'. You're full of crap and you know it.
If your child/children are in your profile picture. That's trashy. Simply stating that you have children is sufficient for a dating app
You're a strong, independent woman, but don't want to pay for your own dinner.
You state something along the lines of "a simple hey, hello or what's up will not get a response. Be a little creative because I'm too narcissistic to accept otherwise etc etc" - No. You shall get a 'hello' because that's how you start a conversation. Not 20 questions along with an excerpt from my not so bestselling autobiography.
So now that I've called out about 99.999% of you, understand that when I say I'm not desperate, I mean it. Most of you are little immature girls with zero life experience and I'm not easily impressed. A mature woman with common sense and a capacity for empathy would just blow my damn mind.
Take your duckfaces elsewhere.
Also, I like puppies and stuff.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Tell me what USMC FAST Co is and you might get my attention.
P.S. I'm not a teenager, so do not ask if I have Snapchat. If you met me on here, we'll chat. Next comes talking in person and/or exchanging numbers. I'm not downloading a dozen frigging apps just to chat with you. It's like you'd be in amazement of how your grandparents ever met.