For those of you who chose to read - yay. Proceed...
1. Please have a picture of money – it shows you don’t believe in bank accounts, therefore have no credit.
B. Please have a picture of that huge fish you caught – that is legit the quickest way to get The Digits.
III. Shirtless pictures only. Bonus points if your face is not visible.
4. Please show off your guns (vets/active duty not included). Because the image of you shooting me is sexy AF.
V. If you have gold teeth, I feel bad for you son – I got 99 problems, but toothpaste ain't one.
F. Don’t forget to mention how REAL you are – because only real people do that.
8. Please have a picture of every and any thing but you. I get to guess who's at the other end of the phone. Tons of fun.
* OK. So, knowing how to spell goes a long way. You’d be surprised how sexy it is to receive a message from a man who’s hooked on phonics... for real.
PS. Yes, I'm open to all races. I'm about chemistry and mutual attraction.
PPS. It's ok to smile, guys. Just sayin...
PPPS. Please have your own transportation...
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Picture it... Sometime in the land of Nope, we start the night at a dive bar and have 4 long island iced teas each, followed by a few shots of tequila (I would pay of course, gentlemen are pansies). Shoot some pool and of course when I win, I will talk sh!t about it and make you feel great about losing to a girl. Order hotdogs & fries while discussing President Cheeto and The First Eye Candy (you don't mind women who burp loudly, do you?). We could then go to Tootsies and you can buy me a lap dance cuz I'm just that cool!! But you may have to wait a bit, as I will be in the ladies rest room praying to the porcelain goddess and wishing I didn't drink so much. But after 3 bottles of water and a pep talk from the stripper who gave me the lap dance, we finish the night at a motel that charges by the hour. Thoughts?