Men are like apples on trees: The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The women don't want to reach for good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think that something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE amazing. They just have to wait for the right woman to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. I have brown hair, brown eyes, and am one sexy dude. (Okay okay, so I may have taken some artistic liberty on that last part...)
On the personal level, I think I have actually broken my own personal record on the dating scene. ever since my one big ugly break up with the ?&?$¢ (whose name shall be withheld to protect the... well... not-so-innocent), I have dated approximately 1,138 women, all of whom either have already or will at some point make an attempt upon my life. In fact, hang on, one of them is outside my window now... okay, had to close the glass. I will also turn on my security system. Please wait....OK, My musical tastes favor Iron Maiden and Megadeth[sic] but I like anything except rap (or its putrid twin, hip-hop), raggae and easy listening.
I have the same birthday as Moon Zappa, Ed Sullivan, and Confucius, and the same day (and year) as Naomi Watts I have appeared in two movies. See for yourself here http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4297325/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
My biggest aspiration is to be governor of California. No, I'm not kidding.
Prissy women....If you wanna be fancy all the time go be fancy with somebody else. I don't want any crackheads, either. Kids are OK too, no problems there. If you don't work or don't have some sort of income besides the welfare line don't look at me cause I'm not supporting you.
If you're profile looks like you think you're a gift to men, and that dating you is a privilege that rivals admittance to a country club or Club 33, then I'll go on to the next profile once I'm done laughing. If you're really all that, you should be hitting the nightclubs.
Will you expect me to propose marriage to you on the first date?
If you answered "yes", then you're not the droid I'm looking for, move along.
Here's what men want from women.
Many women think they must be married by a certain age or she'll never find stability. Hey, I've got news for you, ladies: looking to men for stability is like going to Hannibal Lecter for psychoanalysis.
We want you to understand that we don't give a hoot about clothes, yours OR ours. All we need is one pair of tennies and one pair of church shoes. That's it.
Don't talk to us while the television is on. Very simple: Television is off, we talk. Television is on, we don't.
When you're behind the wheel of a car, if you want to get aggressive, that's fine, but don't give somebody the finger and expect me to defend your honor when Steroid Lad comes over swinging a pair of nunchucks.
Would it kill you to watch Fight Club with me for the fifty-seventh time?
Hey I'm sorry, but some of us see a beautiful sunset and think, "You know, I betcha my accountant is robbing me blind"
Have a sense of humor. Without a sense of humor, a relationship lasts about as long Rush Limbaugh at a National Orginization For Women (NOW) meeting.
Don't ask us to cry. As much as you say you want us to cry, you don't really want us to cry. You hate it when we cry.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
I like alternatives to the dinner and movie scene, although I am open to that. I prefer to go to a comedy show (and sit in the front row so we can get hacked on), then, top it off by disarming mines at the beach at sunset. . If you can hang with all this you may just get the best boyfriend in town. IM me at Yahoo: MadMike858 or Skype: SpaceMountainMike
Now, that covers the first date. I like to get as much out of life as I can. As Frank Sinatra once said, "you only live once, but if you lived like I have, once is enough".