I feel with great intensity and have never been capable of experiencing anything in moderation. I am deeply passionate and committed to everything I am engaged in. I will become consumed by my own ideas and imagination for endless hours, interrupted by few, as few are able to stimulate me in the ways I am capable of stimulating myself. The drive to perform, create, achieve, and discover fuels my life and my tank is always overflowing. I am highly critical of my close companions and share myself and my time with a select few. Impress me. Entertain me. Surprise me. Challenge me. I am obsessively aware of my surroundings and all that exists within them. I will consider every detail and leave nothing unexamined. I am not always right, but at least aim to understand where I went wrong, and then to correct my imperfections. I am caught within my own web of self-perfection. I am always fighting myself and my expectations, with victory the only option. I will listen to you intently and expect the same in return. I understand much that is overlooked and have overlooked much that others understand. I desire to fill the gaps of this disparity and am unspeakably disappointed by the reality of this impossibility. I have a bottomless bank of stories and take pleasure in an engaged audience. I have experienced much beyond my age, and will continue to explore and advance. I am uplifted, inspired, and set apart by an intensity and insight that I am committed to. I am often driven to near madness by a clarity of perception that is relentless. I can see through your deception because I have am skillful at deciphering much of human interaction/communication. I am an artful and involved conversationalist and will indulge anyone who can reciprocate. I battle often and deeply with demons of my past that have a firm (but hopefully loosening) grip on my ability and willingness to make and sustain intimate human contact. My moods are both marvelous and maddening. I am delightfully unpredictable. I will refuse to let you near my vulnerabilities until you have earned my trust. I will be painfully critical and suspicious until you make yourself into a loyal companion. You will be tested. In return, I will enter into the challenge and prove myself as a worthy competitor.
Please, do us both a favor: Only message me if you sincerely feel as if we could enjoy each other's company based on the substance of my description. I am not interested in receiving compliment laden e-mails that detail for me all of the ways I impressed you. Initiate conversation with me that makes me desire to explore you in return. I do not want to waste my time, so please do not waste yours.Make an honest assessment of what could be commonalities between us, and pursue me only after reflecting on my words, and your potential to match them (in action, and interaction).
In response to the overwhelming number of e-mails that have flooded this mailbox: please follow the following suggestions.
1) I value intellectualism very much. I do not value "one specific type of an intellectual." By this I mean, I do not care if you are a doctor, an engineer, a professor, a carpenter, an artist, a musician, a traveling saleswoman, etc. as long as you are intellectually inclined in one of many ways. There is a great amount of diversity within this category, but there is still a framework that is inflexible.
a) I appreciate attention to e-mail form and content. Please think before you construct your words and pay attention to the feelings that you wish to evoke in your reader. There are many ways that one can go wrong in this area, but just as many ways that one can succeed.
b) I do not care to be called cutie, sweetie, or any other nicknames that should be reserved for friends or intimate partners.
c) Please do not tell me that "we are made for each other" that "you are my woman" or that " I am your girl." Besides this being a huge turn off, you have no foundation to make these remarks.
d) As mentioned above, please limit your praise of me. I repeat this in order to give you a chance to make some headway. I want you to challenge me, not to bow to me. I want you to expand me, not inflate me. I want you to test my control, not submit all of yours. I will expect and value this at both the onset of interaction, and throughout the course of our relationship.
e) I usually do not explicitly present this dilemma, but for the sake of avoiding pointless e-mail exchanges, I will describe for you what is a vital element of my current and potential relationships. I want you to make me want you. You will, without exception, concede this quality if you become malleable to my demands and contingent upon my personality (emotional disposition). Do not assimilate into my personality. Do not become what I want you to be. I advise you, if you are to work your way into my life, you must maintain an independent sense of self that is resilient to my presence. My respect for and attraction to you will collapse if you are unable to assert yourself and make me work for your affection. I like the game. I like to chase. I need it. It drives me. Stimulates me. Intellectual resilience and emotional fortitude are irreplaceable. The dilemma lies in what has evolved into an intrinsic, and rather permanent feature of my personality (for both better and worse): I will test you.
f) I do not want casual/sexual encounters. If you are looking for this, you will receive no gratification from me.
g) There is a difference between proving yourself while in my company (through words and actions) and inflating yourself on my behalf without the context of interaction or reciprocal communication.
h) Do not write me to tell me what you did not like about my description. I do not care. You need to reassess your motivations and what you hope to achieve with your remarks. You and your unproductive commentary strike me as a whole number of things, none of them attractive.
i) I am rarely compatible with religious believers. I am most interested in meeting atheists, agnostics, and in rare occasions, non-religious/non-invasive spiritually oriented individuals. I do not believe in immaterial souls, an afterlife, a higher power, a divinely connected/ordered universe, or a creationist first cause. For obvious reasons, too much of a disparity in this area prevents bridges from being built. You can not change me in this area, so please do not try.
That all being said, I am a person who delights considerably in the company of people of all varieties.
For those of you who have e-mailed me, making various remarks on my written description and/or appearance, or have offered me advice for dating: Thank you, if you were well-intentioned. I apologize for not responding to each of your e-mails. I simply do not have the time. If I do not respond the first time you e-mail, I probably do not intend to.