I am a 29 year old male superhero, looking to exchange humorous emails with numerous females. Pictures of T & A are also welcome, but be forewarned. I have met a lovely young lass on here in whom I am quite enamored in the cheesiest, chick-flick kind of way. She is a kung fu mistress and an experienced dim mak and ko tiki tai practitioner who can catch bullets in her teeth as well as break 9 cinder blocks with her tongue, and she's got big guns. I am interested primarily in humor, pleasing myself, exploitation of the weak, and perhaps a look at your stuff (she doesn't mind and might even have a looksee herself, with your permission of course). If you can't dig it, I'm not offended. Just move on. Take your hang-ups somewhere's else and enjoy your repressed, benign existence. No problem. If you can dig it, know that I will not duplicate pictures of your assets without the expressed written consent of the National Football League, for fear that I may prosecute myself to the full extent of the law. Incidentally, there's no such thing as a smithereen. The word only exists in the plural.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
First dates should either include mind-numbing sex, or they should end early enough for me to go home, take matters into my own hands, and watch Sports Center. The best case scenario is of course, both sex and Sports Center. I don't care what people say about being worried what another person may think about them, or that old addage about free milk and buying the cow and all that . We all know that what we want is to do the horizontal cha-cha, and let's not pretend otherwise. So henceforth, it shall be known throughout the land that I endorse any and all kinds of sex on the first, and any and all other dates.