Age: 40
Hang Out
Serial Lady Killer: Craving adventure and excitement...
Smokes Occasionally with Average body type
Chicago, Illinois
38 year old Male, 5' 10" (178cm), Non-religious
Caucasian, Gemini
Serial Lady Killer wants to date but nothing serious.
Bachelors Degree

I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Does not want children
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? No
Hair Color Brown Eye Color Green
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Under 1 year How ambitious are you? Very Ambitious
Pets No Pets  

About Mike

I'm only on this site to find friends, partners in crime and drinking buddies.

When I joined this site 6 years ago, most people understood that my handle is a lyric from an Old 97's tune or appreciated it for it's silliness. These days it is seen as evil. If I were an actual serial killer, they would have found me by know. I have a paper trail a mile long. I suppose if my name had something about "zombie" in it, then it'd be cool.

"I've learned to stop at one scotch and don't have any miniature versions of myself ruining the planet. What do I get?"

-Patton Oswalt

“Don't get it twisted, i do some dirt too, but i aint never put my gun on nobody who wasn't in the game.”

-Omar Little

I've been getting in better shape and can run 5 miles in 40 minutes. I do so everyday. I usually run to "Hot Fuss," "Sam's Town" or "Day & Age."

I love horror movies, not just zombie movies. I know it's unheard of that well dressed, clean shaven man would have such a love for 70's exploitation and 80's slashers but I assure you it's all true.

I steal most of my style from my favorite television characters.

I do not want to explore this great city of ours.

Only grown ups need apply.

I recycle. So should you.

I was a PC user for 16 years and recently purchased my first MAC. Before PC, I was a Commodore 64 user. On the same tip, I used to use my Zen Nomad for all of my digital music, however have switched over to the Ipod Touch. It's a smaller hard drive, but I love the autofill function through Itunes which assures me that there will always be new tunes on the device.

I play ice hockey every Sunday night and at least 3-4 times during the week.

I tend bar. I won't tell you where I tend bar till a first or second date though.

I play guitar and write songs. Good songs. Songs with verses, choruses, hooks and maybe a middle eighth or a key change if I'm feeling froggy.

The first two websites I check when I sign online are Aint It Cool and Chud.

I pay very close attention to the lighting in my apartment.

I am a feminist.

I don't play video games all that much. My first home system was an Intellivision. Those early video games shaped my love of the medium and I feel that no matter how good the graphics on some of these new systems are, they will never match the skill levels that were needed for BurgerTime, Pac-Man, Astrosmash and Pitfall.

UPDATE: I got a Playstation 3 for Christmas, mainly for the Blu-Ray player and Netflix Instant. I've also got NHL 11 and Red Dead Redemption. It's quite a learning curve moving from a directional pad and an A and B button.

I drive a Scion XB and I get more compliments on it than any car I have ever owned.

I am so smug, and isolated, and in a modern world
What I’m doing with my life
I am a bartender with a degree in paralegal studies, working towards my bachelors in accounting with plans of law school right after that.

Some people say I don't work a "grown up" job. I suppose if I was miserable in an office Monday-Friday that would be considered more adult? The fact is, I enjoy my job. I love my job. Sometimes I feel I was born to tend bar, however I have high aspirations for myself. I'm only 30. I'm not stopping yet.

I am an amateur stand up comic.
I’m really good at
Storytelling. Two storytelling pet peeves I have are stories that are too long or when the storyteller laughs when telling the story to let you know that it's supposed to be funny.

Pointing out hypocrisy in a well thought out statement.

Not arguing. Once I've made my point, I usually let the other person rant and rave and while I will take their opinions into consideration, I will lean back in my chair, crossing my arm knowing that I'm right.


Editing video.


I can grow a beard or mustache better than any of the little hipster dandies around Chicago. I choose to go clean shaven, because I'm a gentleman.
The first things people usually notice about me
My winning smile and charming demeanor.

The six things I could never do without
1. I collect records. I just alphabetized my collection and need some new crates. The problem is the crates I have are red Sterlite from Target and I can't find anymore. It would drive me crazy if the crates don't match.

2. I collect guitars, but I'll always be a Telecaster man. That being said, my second in command is my Rickenbacker (It's a power pop thing.)

3. Cheap beer.

4. Laundry service-I can handle most housework. I'll clean, wipe, dust, vacuum, sweep, mop and I do a gangbusters job on the bathroom. I'm also pretty handy. I can't stand doing laundry. I hate waiting for it to wash, I hate waiting for it to dry and I despise folding it. Paying 25-30 bucks every few weeks to have it done is well worth it, I am a rich, white, male after all. I don't understand why anyone would waste their day doing laundry when they could be doing ANYTHING else. I would rather spend my time on more creative endeavors.

5. A good shave.

6. GQ. I've been a subscriber for 4 years now and it was one of the best decisions ever made. I also subscribe to Esquire, Details, and Maxim (Maxim reminds me of every vacation I've ever took because it was always a good read on the airplane) but GQ is the one I REALLY look forward to in my mailbox every month. Some people think it's only about clothes, but then they're not a gentleman, are they?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
People in open relationships, particularly the women involved in one on this site that are looking for a girl...leave some for the rest of us. I know your generation is selfish and prone to thoughts of entitlement, but that's just ridiculous.

Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Dinner, drinks, movies your place, records at my place. Your call.

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