TAP-TAP-TAP... Is this thing ON?!?!?!(Clears throat, then realises he's swallowed a bug.)....
Oh what a joy it will be for you when you read my profile!! Time Magazine calls shoulderleg's profile "A delightful romp, filled with magic and hope!". Rolling Stone calls shoulderleg's profile "A moving, life-affirming, once-in-a-lifetime experience for the kid in all of us!" Roger Ebert proclaims "Is there anything else left in the fridge to eat?". You'll laugh, you'll cry.. you might even learn a thing or two about yourself and love in general! So, do yourself a favor.. read my profile.... It's "shoulder-riffic"!!!
After 15 years of having this damned silly profile on here, I think I should finally request that if by some miracle, you who are reading this, should write to me, PLEASE say something other than "hi" or "hey there"... ask me a question that I can answer and start a conversation! Thanks! :)
BTW... in case any of you care to read my blog over at matchdoctor, my handle over there is stormy73
The reason I have placed this profile to, hopefully, meet "The girl of my dreams" is because I basically don't go anywhere to meet anyone! I don't go to bars(Can't STAND them!), I don't go to church, about the only place I DO go is the grocery store, but that's hardly a mecca for romance! Don't get me wrong; I love going out and doing things, but it really sucks doing things alone.
Now.. with THAT said, onto describing myself! I am Intelligent, have an incredible sense of humor, am caring, romantic,a strong advocate of monogamy and have been told that I'm a terrific kisser(What can I say.... I LOVE to kiss!:D). I guarantee that you'll never meet anyone quite like me. I like to paint, compose and listen to music(Music means the world to me!) and play my keyboard... I love to make people laugh... I enjoy nature, I love to jetski(Hmmmm.... sounds like a Polish airline!:D), I used to water ski, but after realising that I looked like Jerry Lewis on acid when I did it, I decided to hang up the skis(HAH!).. I love cats( Dogs are cool, too!), into photography(Especially sunset photos! One of those photos is above... of Topsail Island)and I LOVE the beach(specifically Topsail Island!)!
I'm not into sports at all(I like to play them, can't stand to watch them), so you'd never be a "football widow"! If you're looking for someone with these qualities, here I am!
On the flip side, I have NEVER used any drugs, I've never tasted alcohol... not even beer,(but I don't mind if the person I date does), so you would never have to put up with a drunk, and I most certainly am not an abuser. So if you're looking for someone who has THESE qualities... keep on looking because I'm not him.
Oh... and I LOVE thunderstorms!!
Also, I LOVE LOST!!!!! It's the best show ever created!!
I lament the passing of each full moon, mourning the reality that I have no one with whom to share it. Last night(August 19th 2007), I stood at my window, watching the full moon. The wispy clouds gently caressed it's edge, then slowly, they drifted away into the ether...gone forever. I truly thought what a tragedy it was; yet another full moon and still I held no one in my arms, sharing this moment. Am I a hopeless romantic, or just plain hopeless? YOU tell ME!:)
I would prefer someone close to my area... say, about 50 miles and under, though for the right gal, that is definitely negotiable!;)
The person I want to meet is someone who is, above all else, intelligent, attractive(That term is subjective),slender to average build, has a sense of humor and can put up with mine. Someone between the ages of 29 and 47. Someone who can enjoy The Beatles, a Bach sonata, Jerry Goldsmith, Michael Stearns, Judas Priest, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and someone who can appreciate me for the kind, compassionate person that I am. It would also be a BIG plus if you own a gas station ... You supply the GAS, and I'LL supply the(ahem!)"PUMP"(HAH!)!
I want to meet someone with whom I can share the moon and stars... to walk along the beach with at night... to be moved by a piece of music, laugh together at a silly movie, or just laugh at ourselves, and someone with whom I can share interesting discussions! Sorry, but I'm not interested in anyone who does drugs(ESPECIALLY pot, which - I'm sorry to say - probably eliminates about 95 percent of you!). Are you sick of jerks that treat you like shit? Tired of hooking up with abusive alcoholics? Well, then..you came to the right place!:)
Wanna know more? Write! I'm looking forward to hearing from you!:)
SOME ODDS AND ENDS: My absolute favorite movie is CAST AWAY! I can completely relate to Chuck Noland(Tom Hank's character). I give WONDERFUL massages(I think I'd rather give them than receive them, though I'd NEVER refuse one) !! I love astronomy...I enjoy hiking, which is a good thing, because for years, people have been telling me to "take a hike"(HAH!)!
I just had a thought... You see "STOP" signs all the time... how come there are no "GO" signs?
The picture above of me in the purple shirt really makes me look FAT! Rest assured.. I'm not...well... I'm about 15 pounds over my "ideal weight"! Also, not to sound immodest, but I look much better in person! I've never really been very photogenic!
Some things that make me sad... Knowing that I'll never have a 50th wedding anniversary, not having someone to kiss goodnight and good morning, having to go to the beach every year alone(But, since the only thing I like to do at the beach is look for sharks teeth and sea shells, I suppose it would be boring for a woman if she went with me!), not having someone to walk hand in hand with down the street, not having someone who's so absolutely crazy about me that she changes her license plate so that it has our initials on it(Kinda silly), not having someone who is so comfortable being with me that when we're driving in the car, she takes off her shoes, and props her feet up on the dash.... am I sounding TOTALLY pathetic yet(HAH!)?
Things I enjoy doing:
When I go to Topsail, I do just one thing... look for sharks teeth, sea shells and "sea glass"(I've found some amazing things). I also collect old Dr Pepper signs. I love to go out into the country(HIC!) after midnight to watch meteor showers, and my favorite artist is(HIC!!) Salvador Dali. I even wrote a song about him, and I called it "Hello Dali"!
Alright... here's the part that's going to unintentionally piss a lot of you women off...I'm not too crazy about(HIC!)tattoos... sorry! I don't find them sexy, I don't think they're(HIC!) attractive, I just don't like them. (HIC!!!) Sorry.. I have the hiccups!img src="smiles/icon_31b.gif" b
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
This is a fairly impossible question to answer! It would certainly depend upon the individual! I guess the stock answer would be, to go to a movie, out to eat, a walk under the stars... which WOULD be a nice first date!:)
Actually... I DO have a great idea for a first date!
First, we call up a professional photographer, ask him if he takes pictures, and when he says "yes", tell him that he better give them back! Then, off to the local river to cuss out the fishermen! Next, we'll go to Walmart and greet the customers and see how many of them will let us give them a hickey! Then we'll skip down the middle of the street while loudly singing a medley of showtunes ! And, if you like, we can go to the pet store, walk up to the snake tank, and see if we can get any of the ssssssnakes to ssssssssSIT! Maybe after that, we'll go get our hair cut really short, then tell the hair stylist that we changed our minds, and insist that she glue all the hair back on! And to cap it all off, we'll walk down the street until we see a cop car approaching... wait until the officer sees us, we point at him, then take off running like hell!! Oh, the FUN we'll have!:P (HIC!) Whoops! A leftover hiccup!