Here's a thought... DONUTS!
Tarted up toroids in hues and sprinkles... if only Faberge had been a baker.
Or if they were animated... if they moved...
Twitched and wiggled... laughed and giggled...
Prowled around their glass case like puppies.
'The crullers are crawling!'
'The bearclaws are bullying the beignets!'
Greasy glazed golems that cringe and squirm to avoid the coffee I dunk them in.
But eating them? That's not for me.
They disappoint. They promise too much.
I want them to taste like miniature galaxies, to sparkle and nova in my mouth.
To be lewd and crude and nude on my tongue.
To gush their filling as I bite and flood my thoughts with ancient secrets.
To leave an aftermath of mystery and longing and heartbreak.
To stain my fingers lips chin with pink regrets.
They're just fried dough.
My favorite joke:
A boy and a girl are standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean.
They've just finished pushing their mother over the brink...
The little girl turns to the little boy and gleefully says, "Let's go down and look at the mangled body on the rocks!!!"
The little boy looks scornfully at his sister and replies, "Don't make me laugh! I've got chapped lips!!!"
Someday I'll meet someone who thinks that's as funny as I do... or maybe I won't. It doesn't really matter, but that joke says more about me than anything else I'm likely to say here.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Drive around at night looking for interesting window displays and traffic lights.
Have a rambling conversation about film noir over a bowl of udon.
Find an all night furniture store to explore.
Wander through Home Depot and play with the PVC pipe... compare the tensile strengths of various types of glue.
Stand on the corner and scream at cars.