My friends tell me I need a woman in my life or at the very least a blow-up doll. According to them she has to like pizza, dogs and The Lion King, and be one hundred percent washable. I mean I'm easy. I'll settle for someone who wouldn't rat me out to DFS for commiting espionage against them for IKEA. Yes, you read that right. Nathan has never been in the employ of MI6 or KGB says Nathan's mum.
I work in a boring, manual labour job for a large multi-national corporation based somewhere in the Cayman Islands. They have a good pension scheme actually. Every single bit of my wages goes into something called an offshore account. My financial advisor tells me I should receive some pretty good returns in the next fifty years, so I'll finally be able to buy that dream timeshare tent I've always wanted.
I love learning new skills. I got top score on Guitar Hero, so I ''borrowed'' a guitar and played a sold-out show. Well, I say sold-out, there was only one ticket on sale. My mum bought it then subsequently ''got lost'' on the way to the venue. Still it was a huge success. I made £12. £11.75 had to go to the venue, backing band, tax, but that Freddo I had for my tea was nice.
I'm a repository for useless movie knowledge, I'll be handy in a pub quiz, provided the questions are about films made after 2018. I've got my own internal Spotify playlist, meaning after every five songs I play adverts. I play airsoft on a weekend which involves a lot of running around and pretending I'm Bruce Willis (before he went bald). I would like to get into rock climbing, it's having the time to do so.
I would love to be a screenwriter. It's my main passion in life and something I've always wanted to do ever since I saw that episode of Coronation Street where the guy went into the pub and ordered the thing. I thought ''that was some good writing, I bet I can do that!''. So far the only writing credit I've got is for the dog advert selling credit scores and I also did the voice for him too ''What doing?''.
I'm really looking for someone I can take to family gatherings, so my uncle can try to convince you I'm actually gay. I'm really not, but my boyfriend is. I'm old fashioned when it comes to dating. I love it when you open doors for me and surprise me with flowers (or a cactus).
So if you fancy one of my friends, drop me a line and I'll introduce you. I must warn you though that his rules stipulate I must vet you first by taking you on a date, only after that do you get to meet him. Catch you later.