Jan 2017 - Oh My! Winter's here and we start the new year with a big ol' arctic express. We may be livin' in Frostbite City but my heart's still warm, the stove is hot; the view out my back door may not be as inviting as in summer but it's still pretty. Cliche is mostly garaged til spring, co-pilot/nav duties are minimal and yet I still think an adventure or two could be in the works. Always open to suggestions so long as it's not illegal or immoral; as for fattening, if we go down that road I hope you're ready to help me burn those naughty calories. Cheers!
So, who do I say I am?
I am politically, socially, and spiritually conservative, a Christian man who enjoys attending and participating in worship and activities; I am my adult son's father; I am young at heart (hmm, I think that's what "juvenile", "childish", means? right?) with (some) of the wisdom and discernment that age brings. I wake most mornings with a smile on my lips or a song in my heart (today: "What's Your Mamma's Name, Child," by Tanya Tucker -- don't ask, it WAS weird (or, better yet, go ahead and ask, maybe I'll have figured it out by then).
I was married for 28+ years, the majority of those years I was the principle stay-at-home parent/spouse taking care of just about all the domestic duties common to a healthy family (so, please, don't try to pigeon hole me based on YOUR reading of the first paragraph). Why? Obviously, to support son's mother in her professional aspirations. Yes, I would do it again.
My photos are all fairly recent: the oldest from 2014 in the sunflowers and the newest in 2016 - I like the goats. I'll be honest, I think my photos are a little misleading: I look almost skinny. Well, I'm not. I'm thicker around the middle than I care to be - something I'm always working on (more or less, which could be part of the problem!). That said: I think I have a waist (if I squint) and I am thankful that I've been able to keep my weight down after an excursion into blimp-dom 15-20 years ago. But the sad truth is I struggle with my weight - so if you want a fella who looks like the Toms - Cruise or Brady, well, you should probably keep looking. Oh, and I don't think I have their smile, either. Aw, heck, let's just get it all out there right now: I can't act or throw a football, either. Oh well..
So, what do I bring to the table. Well, I don't take myself too seriously. I'm kind'a smart with a couple college degrees in science and engineering (and a third professional degree - that one's conversation fodder). I can generally converse and participate in a broad range of topics - if I don't know something I know when to shut up and listen. I think I can write and someday would like to publish some of the stories I've got bouncing around twixt my ears. I'm a bit of an egalitarian when it comes to relationships: while I know that men and women are different and contribute differing skill sets I prefer a woman who desires to walk, work, and play BY my side: not ahead in superiority nor behind in subservience.
Notice I said nothing about running - if you're a runner you WILL be well ahead, I had to give up that particular sport when my right knee finally had enough. Bummer. Instead, I walk, a lot; I bike, hike, I have golf clubs and know how to use 'em; I lift, and during the summers I also have my garden.
If you look closely, you'll notice I have a toy - Cliche, the little red Miata. Cliche is not there as a brag or boast about my (non-existent) riches. Rather, Cliche is about fun, freedom, enjoyment. For instance, this morning (Sunday, 2/12/17) I drove to church, top down, with the nearly full moon over my right shoulder. It was all joy. Oh, did I mention, it was also in the mid-teens; so, I think we might all agree it was a bit brisk, too. But, oh so fun, yup, yup, yup.
So that's me, more or less; who are you? Well, first, you're a spiritually active Christian woman, a physically active woman, a confident woman; a woman morally, spiritually, and emotionally strong. Fearless! - you won't put up with my B.S., Lord knows I have enough for two. A teacher, student, sharer; and a lover. A woman of passion - and appropriate restraint. A friend and a companion. I admire and desire the woman portrayed in Proverbs 31: 10-31.
And now, a word from my libido: Ladies, I'm particular; and some might say shallow. I'm not looking for a woman who reminds me of mom. I know you've got a great personality; but, and I'm sorry I have to remind you, I'm a man and I have manly wants and desires. I want you to be as attractive on the outside (to me) as you are desirable on the inside. I'm not looking for a centerfold (ick) but a woman who can be, and wants to be, lovely in her man's eyes, as I will strive to be the same for you. To me, thin, fit, are not relative terms - just because you're thinner, or fitter, than your girl friends doesn't make you either. If you can't touch, or see, your toes; if the side of a mountain, or its ascent, is more than a challenge; if you find the idea of a good sweat disturbing -- thank you for reading my narrative, now go back to watching The Bachelor and enjoying your bag of chips. -See, I said I was shallow!
For the record (and to see if you've read this far) I don't respond to 'meet mes, nods, winks, nudges, elbows, or the like. I appreciate a woman who can communicate - and does so. On the other hand, some dark chocolate, a dark beer, or a medium rare steak (may I grill?) almost always gets my attention; as does salmon, crab, roast veggies, potatoes, and Krispy Kreme donuts (now where did that come from?). Oh, and thoughtful writing; spelling, grammar, to me it shows thoughtfulness and intelligence. Yeah, I know we all make mistakes, even me, but I've found a little proofing goes a long way.
And, finally, I'll admit to having baggage: You don't end a 35+ year relationship w/o it leaving a mark on your soul - there were some very good times and some not so much (I know it's semantics but I describe my single status thusly: son's mom divorced me, little by little, year over year, I did my part by finally filing). I keep a carry-on bag with me at all times: it's mostly filled with memories and emotions that bring me comfort and joy, and a few that reside in the shadows that let me know it's all real. Generally, I've dealt with the good and bad, prefer dwelling on the joyful and learning from both. So, please, don't tell me you are baggage free - I don't want a relationship with a machine; I'm not afraid of your scars if you've dealt with 'em. But primarily, I want to share the joy you've experienced.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
It's been 30+ years since this was even an issue. Change happens; what I thought of as a good "date" back then is possibly inadvisable or impractical now - I suppose it would depend on my date and our level of trust and familiarity. First and foremost, any first meet or first date should be someplace / something comfortable for my date. I enjoy activities, but now perhaps something more relaxing might be in order. In the past I've had first dates riding a bike and climbing in the shadow of Mt. Rainier. I've bowled, been to the movies, sat around and talked over pizza. My only request is that it not be someplace noisy - I would like to be able to hear you and talk without shouting.
I'm up in the air about this whole "meet and greet, let's get a cup of coffee/tea, check each other out" mentality. I figure if we've had a chance to email a bit, perhaps talk on the phone or even video chat, we should be mature enough to make a first date really a first date. What you read above is who I am (are you?). I'm well educated, curious and as playful as a kitten, more than a little interested in your life story, can get along with almost anyone for a reasonable amount of time, and believe we could have fun doing 'most anything if we make up our minds to do so.
How 'bout a walk through a farmer's market (or my garden) finding some fresh produce with which to prepare a dinner together.
How 'bout a road trip, with the top down, to some place fun: an arcade, amusement park, or ... ?
Maybe just grab a cup of coffee or tea (chai?) and talk about life - those things that make us smile and those that don't. Pie and ice cream/frozen yogurt, optional.
It is quite possible that if you are reading this and I made first contact you may live some distance from me. Although Montana has been good to me it doesn't feel like home anymore. Perhaps it's because my swan lives somewhere else. I am interested in returning to eastern Appalachia (say, Asheville, NC to Blacksburg, VA (I'm a Hokie) ) or to the PacNW (Huskie Dawg, too) - north or south of Vancouver, WA. I've wondered, if my swan was near by, would I have already met her? Do you know for sure that your cob or knight is nearby?
In any event, philosophically, have you really thought about the next step? Do we need someone that will fit in to the idealized life we have imagined our latter years to be - our "perfect" partner, "perfect" time, "perfect" place; or have we left enough slop in that dream to allow for two people to build something together that's better than their individual fantasies.
As always, blessings in your life, steve