I do not use the "meet me" feature.
SAME RACE ONLY.
NO CURRENT pics = NO response. NO excuses. Jot down your screen name and the date...take a picture holding it in front of you. Its not that difficult.
If you're looking for a sweet, simpering southern belle or a raucous redneck..I'm not it.
Low maintenance, uncomplicated, drama-free, honest and straightforward. Most times unPC. I color outside the lines. I run with scissors. I don't abide by the rules of "polite" society. I'm not an excellent choice for the faint of heart, the overly straight-laced, or those not in possession of their "man" card.
Retired military, still working with the military in a fun and rewarding second career.
The eternal optimist...I don't spazz over the small stuff. My sense of humor is finely honed, snarky, wicked, dry and obscure. I find most things pretty damn funny. If your "flash-to-bang" needs calibrating, you possess "standard issue" humor, or you opted out of the feature entirely, you will likely not understand or appreciate mine. I tend to think outside the box (minds out of the gutter, boyz).
Not a damsel in distress, hence don't require a knight (gallant or otherwise) to blaze a path to my rescue. Also not in need of completion, validation, or any other such BS.
I have NO ulterior motives, NO hidden agenda, not here to play games. Not in pursuit of a MRS degree, but should Mr. "OHHH HELLLL YEAHHH!!" pop up on radar, I won't run away screaming...probably.
I have NO desire to control or change you. If you have my interest, rest assured, I like you exactly as you are. It is not my style or intent to use and/or abuse you...and I'm too lazy to stalk you.
I'm not broke(n), bitter, jaded, flummoxed, demented or in any other manner adversely affected by life experiences or previous encounters with fellow members of your species. I fully own up to my contributions to the demise of past liaisons.
Fluent in "man-speak".
I'm attracted to the traditional "man's man", "ruff, tuff, and hard to diaper", Alpha personality.
I'm an ENTJ - (extraverted, intuitive, thinking, judging). I don't require you to be a rocket sturgeon, but common sense and an above average degree of situational awareness would be nice.
I keep myself in good physical condition. Unless you do the same, you cannot fully appreciate the effort and dedication that it requires, and we will likely not be a good match. Age is NOT an excuse to turn into a lardass. Should we meet, you will not be greeted by a sweathog or the cryptkeeper. My age is correct (62), my pics are current, the dates on them accurate, and are exactly how I look NOW. NO makeup, NO photoshop, NO "filters" or other techno magic. Not everyone ages like a President. I have no problem whatsoever verifying my appearance via facetime or similar media. If you expect to meet me, you should be prepared to do likewise.
I will admit a preference for military (former/active/retired) men... 5'10" or taller.
Men with humor, integrity, confidence and an upbeat personality are MUCH more appealing to me than those who are just another pretty face in the crowd.
Some FAQ/comments and my responses -
Q - "waddup/wazzup/'sup???" A - not a damn thing
Q - "how dey hangin??" A - dey AIN'T hangin, homeskillet. Dey will NEVER hang.
Q - "send me a picture of your ass" A - sorry, my ex said he would prefer I NOT send out his picture.
I don't want to stomp on anyone's feelers. We would make an unwonderful match if YOU:
- don't have a personality/sense of humor tracking with mine. (You interpret my profile as intimidating/arrogant/judgemental/feminazi-ish/ball breaker-y, etc, versus the spirit in which it was intended.)
- are a smoker. (Not tryin to bust your chops. I smoked for 34 years. Quit 10 years ago.)
- MUST drink or be medicated to get through the day. I don't drink. I don't mind if you do..in moderation. HOWEVER..if your permanent home of record is LA-LA land, if your grip on reality is influenced by, or dependent upon, distilled or chemical assistance...move on to the next profile.
- are oppressed, depressed, suppressed, obsessed, possessed, re-possessed.......or any other "essed" word. Ditto if you are perpetually pissy and/or a sadsack..prone to moodiness, self-pity, or any other assdart antics. I sincerely hope some of you aren't as miserable in real life as you appear to be in your profile.
- look, think, act, and sound....O L D. Gentlemen, it ain't over til they throw dirt in your face. If you are offered soup or sex, and you choose the soup.....shuffle off to the next profile...pleeeease!
- EXCEED the standard definition of "average/FEW extra pounds" for body type. FYI - A FEW extra pounds is 10-15...NOT 50+.
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
POF's AGE RESTRICTION POLICY (14 year gap) DOES NOT ALLOW ME to send or receive messages from men whose profiles indicate are younger than 48. MY age preference is 45ish-60.
If your profile indicates you are "looking for someone to marry" or "would like to get married", I'm not what you're looking for. I love the company of a good man, but not 24/7. I'm seeking an enhanced friendship with a likeminded individual to enjoy quality time, on an adult level...on an on-going basis.
I am NOT looking for one night stands, booty calls or random hookups.
NO WHERE in my profile does it suggest that a raunchy message scribed by an inbred cretin will be warmly received. This was not an oversight on my part.
I am NOT interested in toyboys, and NO, I don't care if you are into "older women".
NOT interested in married or otherwise attached men.
I realize my profile goes somewhat against the norm on here. If for no other reason...its HONEST. To avoid any misunderstandings, if YOU initiate contact with ME, type the word..."bazinga"...(from my fave TV show) as the first word of your message. That way, I'll know you've actually read to this part of my profile and didn't just look at the pics. If you don't, I'll assume you didn't read my profile and I will delete your message, unanswered. I delete 99% of the messages I receive for exactly this reason. I'm not being rude. If you are unable/unwilling to comply with this simple request, I feel no obligation to respond to your message.
I'm not a fan of beaches or seafood... (yeah, I know...I should be shot for that).
Except for this one time - at band camp (actually, it was at a biker bar in South Korea), I've never been on a motorcycle. I'm good with keeping it that way.
How 'bout for a first meet - we rendezvous, maybe for a drink of some sort (coffee, tea, hemlock, etc). If we find each other insufferably obtuse, we diverge flight paths after 15 minutes. No harm, no foul...nobody dies.
Or, skip the "first date" ritual altogether. By the time we meet face-to-face, we will have already engaged in sufficient commo to determine if we have clickage, and I'll know I won't be in the company of a psychopathic axe murderer, or worse....the far, far left. I'll just invite you over, we'll throw something on the grill and hang out. YOU of course would be the "grill sergeant" - it being a man thing and all..