I'm inspired. I've seen some profiles lately wherein some ladies are very blunt and specific about what they are and are not looking for. The honesty is, well...inspiring. But I'm seeing a lot of people who don't exactly come off as diamonds in the rough who are acting like every man on the face of the planet is a slovenly, stinking, insensitive drunk and if there are any men out there who are different, they still shouldn't initiate contact unless they're rolling in cash and ready to build a shrine to the first woman who responds to a message. Oh, but they shouldn't be "clingy".
That's all well and good. I'm thinking the honesty cuts through a lot of unnecessary crap. So, I'm going to be honest too. Hopefully everyone finds what they're looking for :)
Yes, I have a few extra pounds. Judging by the sampling of profiles I've seen, so do you. I don't usually look like this--had some unusual circumstances that led me here. I'm doing something about it and will get back to where I was before. Will you?
I don't care what level of education you have. It's an indicator of your life experience, but ultimately not of who you are. Some of the most interesting and intelligent people I've met in life never finished high school, while some of the people I've met (including an ex) with PhDs have been the biggest twits you could ever meet. I have a 2-year degree. I don't have a 4-year degree. Why? Because I wanted to play music for a living and every working musician I talked to told me it didn't matter if I had a degree; it only mattered if I could PLAY. So instead of spending time in classes that wouldn't help me achieve my goals, I spent time practicing my ass off and learning to DO what I wanted to DO. HOWEVER, I am articulate and an eloquent speaker, I have spent time studying various subjects on my own, and I can read, write, and SPELL. As I said, I don't care what level of education you possess. But please don't write a thesis about your need for a man who is intelligent and has gone to college if you have no idea how to use an apostrophe or if you don't know the difference between the words "they're", "their", and "there". It's hard to sell anyone on the fact that you're above talking to losers if you spell it "loosers".
What you do for a living need not define you, so I don't really care what it is you do as long as you're not harming anybody and you're happy. Hell, if you're a prostitute, at least it means you'll be experienced in bed. But don't treat me like I'm less than I am because I'm a musician. Being a musician allows me to set my own schedule to some extent (on the teaching side of things at least) and pick and choose which gigs I would like to take and which I'd like to pass on. I get to do something I'm passionate about when I go to work. I've played venues with Montel Jordan and Tony Toni Tone. I've been to Europe, seen 8 countries, and sailed the Mediterranean and the Atlantic...all while playing music for my job. If you're going to get high and mighty on me because your masters degree allows you to fight traffic to sit in a cubicle in an office building for 12 hours a day while you stave off the desire to vomit on yourself so you can go home early...well, you'll be higher than you are mighty when you hang yourself because your job makes you miserable. OH! And there are some professions, like nursing, that are very noble and very necessary, but don't hold them over everybody else's head. Seriously, I keep seeing profiles by nurses who are single moms with 17 kids and they want a man who has his sh*t together and can hold a good job like THEY do. Look, working 12-16 hour days cleaning up bedpans and soiled sheets sounds like a job I don't want to have. If you love it, more power to you. My dad died a lingering, painful death of cancer. I was very grateful to the doctors and nurses and the rest of the medical personnel who worked so hard to make him as comfortable as possible. But don't act like you're better than someone else because you sat in community college and tech school courses for a couple years to learn how to handle biohazard materials because nursing was the first profession you thought of when you realized you were going to need steady income to raise all the kids that your man ran out and left you with. Sorry somebody treated you shitty. Paying it forward doesn't make you a bigger person.
I love kids. I don't need to have kids to fulfill my life's purpose, but I'm not opposed to the idea of having kids. If you have kids, and you mention it in your profile, and you require your potential partner to be okay with that and make your child(ren) a part of his life--good for you! You're doing what a responsible, single mother who's looking to date should do. Please allow me to point out, however, when you tell me your child is your "whole life"...obviously not. You're on a dating site.
I am agnostic. If your response to discovering that fact is to ask me why I believe there's no God, I will slap you. I will slap you hard. Someone who believes there's no God is an ATHEIST. I am an AGNOSTIC. It means I believe nobody (except, perhaps, God) can PROVE whether or not there is a God. I'm open to all possibilities, including the possibility that one of the "major" religions actually has it right. However, I have studied Christianity extensively and looked into Islam, Buddhism, and a few of the other "major" world religions. I find them all ridiculous. There are kernels of goodness in each, but as soon as you tell me that any one of them contains only truth and the word of God and I must believe and accept all of it to avoid eternal damnation, I will tell you you're an idiot. Sorry, but if you identify yourself as being a member of an organized religion I contend that there are three likely possibilities: 1.) You haven't examined or thought about it closely and are part of a religion because you grew up with it or most people you know are connected with it; 2.) You aren't really sure what you believe, but you're concerned about pissing off God; 3.) You're a ****ing moron.
If you are part of an organized religion and you understand all of this about me and are still interested, I'm okay with dating somebody who is not agnostic. BUT DON'T TRY TO CONVERT ME. I know the Bible tells you to do so. I also know it tells you to do a bunch of other sh*t that you're not doing, so leave me out of it. And if you have a billion kids but you can ONLY be with a man who knows and loves Jesus...let me put it this way: You've probably felt like that for awhile. So the Jesus-loving guy(s) who knocked you up and left you with all the kids...how'd that work out for you? I'm just saying--there are ***holes in every religion. Don't act like people who don't share your religious beliefs are going to be worse people because of it.
I. Do. Not. Care. How. Much. Money. You. Have. I am poor as hell. I work my ass off and I play a lot of gigs, but I have a lot of expenses and have had some circumstances that have gotten me here. It sucks. Oh well. Other than the lack of an intimate relationship, I'm pretty happy. What I do for a living and how I spend my days makes me happy. That's what I care about with a potential girlfriend--are you happy? I don't give a crap if you have any money. It'd be hypocritical of me to hold you to some high financial standard. If you have money, but you're ****y and miserable...well I don't want to be around your grumpy ass anyway. All of you who keep demanding that the men who contact you have a good job and a car, while you're working as a cashier at a dollar store and you get there on the bus--**** you. If you believe that women are equal to men as people (I do, I sure as hell hope you do too), then you need to have equal standards for yourself and the men you date. Don't tell me you can't talk to me unless I have money and a car if you don't have the same.
If you've actually read all of this and you still want to contact me, I'll be...well, I'll be ****ing surprised is what I'll be :) I didn't write all this to drive anyone away. I really am looking to meet women and I really do want to find someone to have a relationship with. But I want to be honest, as I've done above, to cut through a lot of the BS. The problem is, I've noticed most people aren't all that comfortable with honesty like this. So I'm not really expecting any desirable women to respond to this. I hope I'm wrong though ;)
By the way, if you contact me and I'm not physically attracted to you, I'll probably tell you so in as polite a way as I can. Please don't take offense. It means nothing about how you look other than I'm not attracted to the way you look. There are movie stars I'm not attracted to. I'm an idiot.
Other stuff you should know: I joke about EVERYTHING. I don't like taking things too seriously, and I don't get people who take THEMSELVES too seriously. Nobody ELSE is taking you that seriously, so seriously, stop it. So if you're not okay with someone who finds, you know, STUFF funny...this may not work.
Okay, I think that's it. Now you know me!