I know who I am and what I'm looking for. Are you ready?
What I'm looking for:
If you're a decent, mature, intelligent fellow who is a model of rectitude, then please, disregard the following diatribe and skip right on down to "Who I Am."
Some people on this site give me the heebie-jeebies so I'm going be tactless and make this blatantly clear in the first line: I am not chasing meaningless sex, one-night stands, cheap flings, or anything of the like. I'm a classy lady. I'm interested, first and foremost, in conversation. If you play your cards right and all goes well, I may just meet you. Then, provided there is some deep connection, some epic spark between us, if we light one another's hearts on fire, I may be open for some old fashioned courting. If there is not an explosion of raw sexual and romantic chemistry, but the situation remains delightfully copacetic and platonic, I'm the best bro you'll ever have. I will not settle in love and I refuse to be someone's Mrs. Right Now. I want to make someone's dreams come true.
Basically, if you nod with the lyrics of this song, exit my profile RIGHT NOW: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XksJW4B2mIM
I'm looking for conversation with a little substance. Although I may be fleetingly flattered, messages that read "ur hot" demonstrate that we are likely not meant to be. I also won't respond to lackluster messages like "hi," "hey wuz up?," "how r u?" or "wanna chat?" Grow some balls and stop being so boring.
I'm interested in meeting people who can:
1. engage in witty banter & shoot the breeze
2. make me laugh until I project liquids from my nose
3. be kind to others & create a good time out of nothing
Just to solidify, one must comply with one of the above requirements (or all, which would be idyllic) without the sole intention of trying to get into my pants.
I absolutely require one to know and practise the differences between their/there/they're, to/too/two, then/than, and you're/your. If you don't have a decent command of the English language, you've effectively embarrassed yourself and made me want to beat you over the head with a dictionary. Congratulations. Gold star.
Who I am:
I'm an old soul.
I think it's hip to be square.
I make the most of everything.
I spend a good deal of my time in scuzzy venues in Toronto.
I would be reluctant to step foot in a club.
I enjoy adventures & exploring.
I enjoy hunting for antiques & vintage [particularly clothing & vinyl].
I photograph [film is where it's at].
I bake [the meanest cupcake you will ever eat].
I play [sexy sax girl for hire].
I laugh [a lot. Like, constantly].
I talk [a lot].
I smile [nonstop].
I have the mind & mouth of a filthy sailor.
I have no verbal filter or inner monologue.
I have very little control of my facial expressions. Seriously, OUT OF CONTROL.
I donate blood [I'm O- so my blood is rare & valuable just like me].
I dance [Tina Turner meets Elaine from Seinfeld].
I watch & listen to the night sky.
I watch a lot of films. Foreign, avante-garde & trashy B-grades. French New Wave owns my heart.
I do not watch TV [haven't owned one for 6 years as I'm consciously reverting back to The Stone Age].
I'm into bedroom pop, lo-fi, shoegaze, garage rock, surf rock, punk, gypsy punk, doo-wop, and Motown [particularly Etta James circa ’61-3]. http://www.last.fm/user/random_apathy (I sometimes program a show and play rad jams on the radio)
I dig performance art [infinite appreciation of Orlan & Abramovic]
I have an unhealthy addiction to Mitch Hedberg and Louis CK.
I ride horses [formally English trained & western for pleasure].
I ride bikes [town & trail although I'm admittedly a scaredy-cat].
I break [not just the rules but my wimpy bones].
I spend a great deal of time restoring a 3000 sq. ft. Victorian house.
I can change my own tires.
I can change my own brakes.
I raise my glass to erudition.
I am taking a year off before I start my interdisciplinary Master's in English and Sexual Diversity Studies at UofT.
I am a feminist.
I am not a feminazi.
I am also partial to racial, cultural, literary, media, and film theory.
I am a vegetarian & have been since '91, but I'm not extreme or militant, as, admittedly, I once was.
I am currently on hiatus from vegetarianism. I just tried salmon & bacon for the fist time this summer & it was love at first bite.
I am an animal activist & have an affinity with animals.
I have my opinions and beliefs, but am open-minded and readily accept difference.
I am far too laid-back for my own good, and as a result, prefer conversation over inefficient and unproductive confrontation.
I am seriously allergic to bullshit, drama, and negativity.
I am blunt, honest, logical and realistic.
I am a crass, sarcastic, facetious candy coating with a sweet and bashful gooey centre.
I am totally fun, I swear.