ATTENTION: DO NOT MESSAGE ME UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO TEXT ME NAUGHTY PICTURES OF YOURSELF THAT I CAN THEN SEND TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS. ALSO, YOU MUST HAVE BIG BOOBS, OR BE WILLING TO SEND ME PICS OF STUFF INSERTED IN YOUR LADYJUNK. ALSO, DO NOT TELL MY PAROLE OFFICER YOU TEXTED ME THOSE PICTURES. THANKS!
Evenin' sexy ladies, your Prince Charming is totally here, dudes. Fo' sho! SRSLY!!!!
I'm writing this from my parent's basement, since i don't have a job or a car. I'm hoping to meet some sweet honey that will totally let me have sex with her with my thingie in her thingie, all for free, just because I own the latest Eminem CD, or I can buy her cigarettes/booze. I will also demand to see pictures of your parts fully nude, and offer pictures of myself nude in return. In fact, I'll probably just send them anyway, with the comment "I TINK URE HAWT" and then stalk you for a bit until you send me pics.
I'm also married with 18 kids (no clue if any of them are mine. She's totally a slut. Which is why I'm here. Honest.), and I have 4 mistresses (most of them ugly and boooring), and probably a girlfriend (who doesn't know I'm on here, so shhhh!). I've never paid child support. Additionally, I've never had a job in my life for longer than a week. I probably have like, 90 illegitimate children that I'll never ever see ever. Also, I will probably be a mass murderer or a rapist or worse, someone trying to convert you to a new religion. Have you spoke to Jesus? Oh, I also think I am bald, fat, and probably I smell, since I never bathe or brush my teeth. Also, I have woefully undersized genitals, which will explain why i spraytan and call every guy ever some pejorative variant of 'homosexual'.
You, on the other hand, should be a flaming hawt chick, with big boobs and stuff. You should like to dress like a stripper all the time, especially when cleaning the house. Also you should just let me randomly have sex with you whenever. You should also have a job and a car. Probably two jobs, so I can stay home and play video games and DELETED into your dirty underwear while thinking about your hot friend/sister/whatever in a three way with you and I. You should swallow often, and remark to me about how much you love swallowing. Also, you should like doing naughty stuff. Butt stuff. That's right! Oh, and you have to like to do all this on camera, so I can DELETED while watching old videos of us like, 8 years after we broke up or whatever. Enjoying threesomes/foursomes/moresomes/etc are a plus, but not necessary, guys allowed as long as balls don't touch, because that is DELETED. NO FAT CHICKS UNLESS YOU ARE RICH.
I ONLY WANT DRAMA IN MY LIFE. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. DRAMA ONLY!!!! IF YOU CANT HANG WITH 8 OF MY BABYS MAMAS ALL DEMANDING CHILD SUPPORT UP IN MY CRIB, WITH ROCKS AND COPS AND DOGS N SHYZZT, THEN DONT SHOW UP NONE, YA HEAR?!?!?!?
PS. Wow, you read this whole thing? I wrote it to scare people off. Hopefully you got a laugh before you went bonkers writing me a scathing response. I'm really only here to just look at people and go 'what's up with that outfit' or 'oh dang, that is a hella fat chick using a horrible myspace angle'. I'm a jerk like that. I'm not here to meet anyone. Especially any of you crazy women. I have a lifepartner I'm happy with, and that's pretty awesome to me.
I would probably totally do first base. Yeah. First base. I'd also make sure i shaved downstairs. I'd also be just fine with putting it in your DELETED. I'd even offer to take pictures of us nude, once I had a chance to photoshop a larger DELETED onto my tiny DELETED
Wait what? Porn told me ALL women like that. Why would porn lie?