For those of you with ADD,I want to do things that don't suck, with a woman that doesn't suck. Now for the rest of you, please read on. I am at the point in my life where I feel I need to settle down. Its been a wild struggle coming up from the ocean depths... swimming against the currents around the rocks... jumping the shelves... dodging hungry bears.. all to be where I am now,which is a nice safe place to be. I know I have a long struggle still to go. I cant help to think that one day though my raging river will one day slow to a trickle then to a rivulet drizzle and that last leap could put me smack on dry land where a racoon will promptly bite my head off and scurry up a tree...
what a waste I say. I know there is another salmon out there struggling the currents. swim with me I cant promise you any shortcuts or the easiest most convienient route but I can promise we can get there. But first I must get a few things out of the way. Naughty bits and fine print,you understand. Strictly procedural I assure you.
I will now have a conversation with you,and you alone. I have come to an epiphany! The whole dating scene is like a box of chocolates! No not like Forest Gump. More like all the good ones are eaten and the rest are smashed flat to see what was inside, and rejected. Chocolate covered coconut trying to pass itself off as vanilla creme etc. So let's just cut the BS. Im fairly new here,but I've read a lot of bios. 100s YES I actually read them! Not just looked at the pretty pictures. And I must say if you really truly found what you were looking for,you'd be with another woman. Which we all know could never happen,because in reality you hate each other. Neither of us have made it this far by falling for the same old tricks. After being through all of the games and trials of life so far,I have decided things need to change.It can be made easier. My match will want to have the mindset to be a partner. Not just play house. I know this drastically narrows down my options,but it's what I desire. You should also not be like having a second job. I am an old soul in a young body a renaissance man would be a fair term. Meaning I have been raised by the old school ways.Not to say I disrespect woman,like I live in the 1950s. But chivalry isn't dead with me. I want someone I can trust. That is supportive. And can be a team player when it comes time to plan a family in the future. I have an inner child that loves to come out when the time is right. I am kid tested and mother approved as well as a certified baby whisperer. Being an artist I have that obscure eccentricity about me. I am lover of the strange and unusual. I have tattoos. I will be applying more over time. I love tattoos,if you have tattoos great! Just please no facial tattoos or piercings. Ears do not count as "face". I have a serious side also when needed. Being an adult kinda sucks,but someone has to do it! I have a ton of hobbies,including but not limited to karaoke and collecting. I cook like a chef,and like to host get togethers. Always the information sponge. I can recite quotes from sponge bob to Shakespeare. I am an encyclopedia of knowledge,useless to some. Sit back you may learn something. And please I cannot stress this enough please BE MY AGE OR YOUNGER! The older woman seem to get it,but alas not what I'm shooting for here. If you have failed to at least smile while reading this you should really see a doctor,as there is nothing I can do for you! Basically I'm looking for a unicorn. That I think it only exists in my dreams. We will see. I am a gentle caring man. Animals and children make me smile. I live with my dog shaft, on top of a mountain. Only 5 mins from the Shenandoah,I spend a lot of time down there in the summer months. I garden and grow my own culinary herbs.
I don't need to see your sexiest pic, just a pic will do.
FYI...bathroom pics are just as bad as guys shirtless pics.
If you want a good loyal man that you can take home to your parents without embarrassment. I'm your man!
Remember ladies swag doesn't pay the bills!