I just moved back to Canada from New York City. So I'm bored, feeling like a leper, and trying to figure out the social scene in Cowtown. I'm wickedly sarcastic and looking for someone with a vicious wit to match my own. Now, I must preface, my dry British humor and mild elitism often comes across as ****y. I assure you I am sweeter than a Frappuccino. I am also a compulsive liar.
I like baked goods, hamsters, leather pants, sarcasm, traveling, good underwear, Roxette, yoga, corn dogs, people who are difficult to offend, pornography, Swiss Chalet, retro video games and giant breasts (kidding).
I dislike; using chopsticks, Drew Barrymore, sit ups, children (they're delicious in sandwiches however...), writing paragraphs about myself for online dating sites, dubstep, bugs, yellow lollipops, karaoke (because they never have the song I want to sing which is Darude's Sandstorm), abbreviations on text messages, Thora Birch's egg McMuffin nipples in American Beauty, round toed shoes, walking in natural bodies of water, and bananas (too phallic).
Picnic!!!!! But I dislike sitting on grass. Cause' bugs freak me out. So probably brunch. At a a table. No date can ever go bad if you're stuffing yourself with pancakes...or cupcakes... yes. i'll buy you a cupcake. But just one, I'm not a goddamn bank.