A question I hear somewhat frequently, asked by women, is "Where have all the good men gone?" We're all over the place (yes, this means I believe I'm one of them). I have been described as a humorous, witty, and intelligent nice guy. I work out regularly, am publishing my first book (through an actual publisher, no less)..... There's more, but I'll tell you in person.
Being a nice guy doesn't mean being your doormat. It means that I'm polite and considerate, and will treat you like the lady you are. It means that I'm aware of boundaries- I'm not some neanderthal who is too stupid to take no for an answer... or who is simply too self-absorbed to care. It also means that I have boundaries, myself, and won't hesitate to call you on it. It also means that I believe in chivalry, for the most part.
I'm looking for a humble woman who is considered enlightened. Perhaps she loves practicing yoga, and stays active at the very least. I would hope that, since I'm a Leo, she is a Libra or a Gemini. She values life in all of its forms. She has a sense of humor (if she doesn't, my sense of humor may not be that attractive, since it is diverse- from dry to raunchy). She is secure in herself: she doesn't "need" a man in her life, much like I don't "need" a woman in mine- however, we both realize that having said person in our individual lives is a joyous adjunct to an already happy life.
She, at the very least, likes dogs- I have two, and they were in my life first. I reciprocate- I'm an animal lover. Speaking of this, I'm gravitating toward a predominantly vegan lifestyle, because I respect life in all of its forms. She has goals, as do I. They don't have to be the same goals, naturally (that would be UBER-boring, don't you think?), but we would support each other in our individual dreams and I know I would certainly help her achieve hers as I have the time.
She has a modest BMI- I'm currently diminishing my BMI into something I consider healthier. I retired from truck driving two years ago for a number of reasons, one of them being that I was almost 300 pounds and heading for an early grave. I've lost about 100 pounds of that so far and have about 30 more to go. I work out regularly and I think it would be appropriate to suggest that she do the same, or have a similar mindset in that regard. I'm not interested in a Barbie type, but I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone who is the other extreme.
PLEASE, if this isn't you, don't email me. If you're heavier than me, I really am not interested. The last bit of extra weight I'm carrying grosses me out (one of the reasons why I'm getting rid of it). I'm simply not attracted to it. However, in the past, I have been direct about this, sometimes rude, and would still get emails from women who, at the very least, simply don't understand the boundary that was put out there.
It's a lot like some of the things I've read in different women's profiles: I want a man with a beard, he has to look good in jeans, he has to have tattoos, etc.
I recently received a shaming email from a feminist, a fit, attractive, and athletic one to boot, that said that my refusal to date a person with a higher BMI than her was crap, so I asked her out (after a few messages in the email chain) since my BMI was obviously higher than hers. Guess what? She refused. So, this is obviously something that runs both ways. And, for the record, I expected her to say no- it's that militant feminist mindset of "I have to be indulged and can act any way I please, but you must act in a way that doesn't offend my delicate sensibilities, even if I would not act the way I'm demanding and trying to shame you into, myself." Hypocrisy is such a comical thing, sometimes. I'm an egalitarian, meaning I believe people should be treated equally, but I think militant and/or radical feminism is the same kind of social cancer male chauvinism is.
So, hey, I get it: even being nice about it, women can be offended by the idea that a man wouldn't simply fall all over himself the moment any woman with a pulse pays attention to him. Truth be known, I honestly thought something was wrong with me over the course of a good many years and tried a number of times to overcome my challenge with obesity. I discovered that a bunch of fat simply does not turn me on at all-it's in my psychological (and perhaps genetic) makeup. But, I was carrying 130 pounds of extra weight- so I've lost 100 pounds of it already. I'll be the first to admit that I would have no right to ask for what I am if I wasn't doing a thing about my own obesity issue.
But I am. So...
It is my hope that the woman in question would find these general ideas attractive (God knows, many don't- they'd rather hope the bad boys who treat them like a combination of whores, trophies, and piggy banks will someday change, and choose to stay with them because of it, disregarding the horrible treatment at the hands of selfish little boys stuck in men's bodies).
Religion: if you subscribe to any organized religion, please understand that I don't. I believe religion is a very personal thing and forcing it onto anybody is a grave error of the highest order. I'm not an atheist, not even an anti-theist. I "am," however, VERY much "anti organized religion." I'll gladly share the reasons for this with you once I get to know you.
So, we've reached the end of this.... "yin/yang" experiment in online dating. I would enjoy hearing from you and sitting down over our favorite beverages and getting to know one another a little bit. Either way, I wish you the best of success in your search.
A public venue is always a good choice. I'm fond of places like Starbucks (there was this place called "Body" in Santa Fe, New Mexico, that was an awesome place- it was a yoga shop, yoga studio, and vegetarian restaurant all in one. The music and ambience in the place was amazing. Unfortunately, I have no knowledge of a place like that here in the TriCities- hence, Starbucks). From there, we'll see if a second date is worth having. At that point, I know I'll have some ideas on something you might find meaningful.
"Life isn't about the breaths you take- it's about the moments that take your breath away." - George Strait