Tired of all the shirtless 'Jersey Shore' wannabes? Sick of all your exes who only knew how to buy flowers as a means of apology? Looking for someone successful, moderately attractive, and genuinely sweet?
Act now and get your very own "World's Greatest Boyfriend!" *
-hardworking and ambitious
-a perfect gentleman, complete with door-opening capabilities
-great at killing spiders
-opens jars and can reach high items with the greatest of ease
-utilizes proper grammar, can differentiate between your and you're, and implements the Oxford Comma
-perfect for all occasions
-now with 50% more facial hair!
-drama not included
"Every great man needs a protege."
- The Most Interesting Man In The World
"I'm truly embarrassed to be wearing this S on my chest when I know there are men out there like him. I would like to go on record in requesting that the writers at the Daily Planet just call me Above-Average Man from here on out."
* self-appointed title and the views in this profile in no way represent the views of this site
Disclaimer: I'll try my best to maintain the expectations that 'The Bachelor' has now set for us guys. I'm still working on obtaining a helicopter and a personal fashion advisor, but maybe we can still have a nice time until my helipad gets approved.