*******************sense of humor required to go beyond this point*******************
If I make you smile you owe me $5
Relationship challenged need not apply. How will you know if you are? Explanation: if you have a Handicap parking and nothing is wrong with you. If your date falls asleep,escapes through a window or fakes his own death during your date. If no one calls back for a 2nd date with you. If you have been on POF so long you recognize names without a face. If you have messaged everyone on this site, if you message and get no reply but, to you that means you still have a chance so you messages 50 more times, if guys have blocked you cause you cnt take a hint, if the FBI monitores your internet usage, if you have been on Dateline NBC "To Catch A POF Predator, if POF is now a hobby or extension of your Facebook account. If you would rather communicate or just date online instead of meeting. If you post pics of quotes, upload pics of your friends that are hotter than you, family, and pets instead of yourself. Jk
Please do not: post pics from High School, post blurry pics to hide your unibrow, post pics with sun glasses in ever photo so no one see's your lazy eye, post pics with girls hotter than you, post pics with depressed face on:(, post pics of you in your car while driving or waiting for the light to change, post pics of you in a bathroom with horrible lighting, post pics with web cam/camera with 1 megapixel quality boo, post pics of other actual pictures of yourself you have hanging on the wall. I will lend you a camera geez:) Jk.
Disclaimer: may feel sigs of falling in love, may think you are in love, may have dreams of being in love, may conjoure up stories of love that never happened, feel the need to tell me you are in love, feel you are ready for marriage, you may just need meds to counteract all of the above dilutions cause hey, I just met you yesterday on accident. I meant to say No I do not want to meet you, darn keyboard:) jk
My name could be: Lorenzo Vonmaterhorn, Alejandro Guzman, Snuggles or I will have to change it after we meet depending on your craziness level and pending restraint order. If you are crazy. I dnt discriminate so if you were a whack case. Please bring a note from your therapist stating your trigger words, medications with refills, and certificate or proof you have been cured. Dnt show up with a stray jacket on. Dead give away:( I dnt want to have to go into the dating protection program and relocation program cause you are a crazy cat lady:) Even though nothing wrong with cats:) unless you have more cats than you have had boyfriends. I dnt want my headstone to read: Here lies a POF Victim. He dated a crazy and paid the price for it:(
**********SERIOUS**********NO JOKING BEYOND THIS POINT*****************************
I am seeking long term. I am not bar or club material. I am a gentleman, husband, father, and best friend material. I am family oriented, epically loving, affectionate, thoughtful, playful, positive, confident and a romantic who is looking for someone special. Very honest but, a soft delicate approach to everything:). So, when you have a zombie looking morning I will find my happy place and tell you that you are beautiful:/ I give above 100% + an additional 30% if I fall. I am sarcastic, very quick witted, playfully confident, and love to laugh. A phenomenal kisser. An exceptional cuddlier. I am imperfect but, always try to be the best I can. Silly but, can be serious when the time calls for it. I love to communicate. Great listener. I am good at everything. If I am not, give me 10 min:) I workout to Jane Fonda "Buns Of Steal" or Pole Dancing to stay fit and drink diet water to take care of myself but, I will still cook the best Mexican food you ever had:) I speak fluent sarcasm and Spanish kinda. So ordering for you at Taco Bell will be easy:) I want what you cnt bid on eBay for, locate on Craig's List, find on clearance at Walmart, order on www:custommadewives:com
MUST be a very loving and affectionate, woman with some morals and values. A little *ATHLETIC* or TONED or SLENDER. Beautiful inside and out. *** Bonus if you are: sarcastic, funny, have beautiful eyes to get lost in, a soft hand to hold, and nice lips to kiss. Not looking for perfection.
I want to take you by the hand. I want to fall in love. Us to fall for one another. Do the things that make us fall over and over for each other. Start our day with a kiss. Later send a text hi or I miss you. Leave a note somewhere for only you to find saying how I feel for you at that moment. I want you to be the first and last I see ever morning and night. Have open arms and deep kiss waiting for you at the when you get home. Prove my love every day. Date you forever. Love you for an eternity. I would do anything for that special someone. The one love songs are sung for, who poems are written for, I want us to be the fairy tail. Help me build a foundation of love, honesty, and trust that can never be broken. I will love you like everyday is Valentines. Adore you at your best. Love you at your worst. Make everyday the best it can be cause we have one another to get through anything. When it rains, take you outside, pull you in my arms to slow dance with you. When the day is done. Cuddle with you till morning. Then love you all over again the next day:) just a little more than the day before. I want your voice to be my fav song. Your words to me my fav poem. Your eyes the only beauty i want to look into. Your beauty more addictive with each glance. This can be wonderful if we have the ingredients: attraction, chemistry, commitment. I am ready to find you. Look into your eyes and see my future. My everything. To give my first last kiss. If you fall, I will catch you, over and over:) give me a week. I'll give you a lifetime. Be the spark that ignites a flame that will keep burning forever within us. Just give me a week. I will give you forever and make your every wish come true. If it seems as if stare, I'm only looking/adoring you and can't help my eyes only want to look at you
If you have kids:) bonus. I love kids. I have three of my own:). Yes, I see them and pay support and yes, all from the same mother:)
I dnt want to be hurt. Not looking for a fling. I want to find the one I can spend now, tomorrow, and forever more with.
If you found what you were looking for. Would you know what to do to keep it?