Please memorize the following...as a formal interrogation will be given to anyone brave enough to contact me. Sorry, but as a retired teacher I feel an obligation to give tests and stress people out...needlessly.
I'm a kind, affectionate and caring man with a sense of humour. Throw in social, genuine, passionate, calm, sensitive, romantic, honest and loving too. Although shy, once I get comfortable, will guarantee to put a smile on your face. I am silly (pillow fight?) and I am funny (a priest and a rabbi go into a bar...).
I was Catholic but stopped going to confession when the priest told me I was bragging. My dad never told me he loved me but as an alter boy Father O'Brien did. Hoping to squeak into heaven with the fewer rules afforded to Spiritualists. Do you ever wonder how a loving and merciful God would ever allow a site like this to exist?
Seriously...I like to live according to the Golden Rule (Do onto others as you would wish them do onto you) the ethic of reciprocity found in the scriptures of nearly every religion.
Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.-- Leo Buscaglia
This site says you should state your "Hopes and aspirations". For me it is finding a cure for male pattern baldness. Like Terry Fox...I will travel from one end of our great country to the next...to raise the necessary funds. However, I am too lazy to run. Please sponsor me on my bus ride across Canada.
I had a successful thirty year marriage which produced three incredibly wonderful children (young adults) who will all leave a beautiful mark on this sometimes chaotic world. Uncanny? Our mailman possessed the very similar extremely likeable traits?
I'm learning to cook too. Darn it! Page 2 and 3 of that complicated cookbook, are sticking together. Hope your favourite meal is not a hard boiled egg. But in the meantime, I'm not giving up. However long it takes, I do plan to master that almighty omelet when I appear on Iron Chef! I can multi-task (seems to be the favoured word)…replace a toilet roll, put down the seat, and even operate complicated machinery like a washing machine. I don't need a cleaner/housekeeper but want a good friend, lover and that someone who would love me as I love her.
I think I'm a nice person to be around. Well...my doctor thinks I've made great progress. I no longer bark when someone knocks at my door and I've only washed my hands twenty times today.
Sorry, at the risk of sounding conceited I listed a bachelors degree, however, I have many more years of education in addition to this...another degree and diplomas... common sense and street smarts too. Plus the wisdom (and wrinkles) that many years of living on this planet guarantee. Wish I was still a teen in high school though...those were the best 8 years of my life.
Happiness is a hot vibrant kiss... feeling the pulse of your heart against the other and knowing that the love is there.
Hearing the rain fall lightly against the window sill...watching you sleep...
Walking through the untraveled forest with the light shimmering above.
Being on a secluded beach enjoying the warmth of the sun, the sound of the ocean waves, the sand between your toes...embracing...watching the beautiful sunrise or sunset with you.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.-- Steve Martin
So, I'm reading the newspaper and there is this article about kissing and its effects on allergies. It says..."Research suggests that subjects had a significant decrease in allergic reaction after 30 minutes of kissing." What a cure! I'm throwing away my nose drops:).
My negative side, I have an innate fear of butterflies, especially the more aggressive species.
Love to travel...please let's go somewhere...explore...have fun. I have travelled extensively in the Caribbean and Europe...but hey, even a quick day trip is fun. Almost made it to Niagara once but had to turn around and head back at St. Catherines when I ran low on fuel.
The outdoors do it for me (owned a vegetable farm)...love sitting on a tractor...feeling the gentle breeze on my face...the sunshine on my shoulders(John Denver)...and the peace and tranquillity of nature. Doing is better but would love to teach Agriculture at Guelph. Perhaps another college will lower their standards/expectations?
But I am also very much into art and sometimes spend time indoors painting portraits. Punny...sometimes I have the fantastic notion that I will be remembered as a great artist...that expectation is probably a pigment of my imagination.
Was a graphic artist, college art instructor, high school art teacher...
Also try to supplement my income as a "hand model".
I'm in fairly good shape and still have time left on my warranty. I don't feel my age...61 is really only about 8 (in dog years).
Could we get together and LAUGH?
Please only women who like to hold hands and cuddle should respond. I also consider tasteful public displays of affection a good thing.
Reminiscing...remember Mr. Rogers? Donning my sweater now. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?
Financially secure, I can now offer your father 5 sheep and a donkey for your hand (being polite here) in marriage. I also have a few chickens to throw in, if the negotiation gets tough.
Life is short: Break the rules,Forgive quickly,Kiss slowly,Love truly,
And never regret anything that made you Senile. Did I say that already?
A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.--Mahatma Ghandi
My Own Mail Settings: How about these?
Must leave the toilet seat up!
Must agree to disagree!
Must not contact me just because I won the lotto!
Must know how much a polar bear weighs!
Must like watching submarine races!
Must appreciate the great works of fiction...including my dating success stories!
Must try to find words that rhyme with purple and orange!
Must search the skies with me at night, hoping to abduct an alien!
Must not use me as the goalie when playing lawn darts!
Must keep a straight face and say teenagers are our future!
Must be good and put your crayons away after playing with them!
Must like having friends over for dinner but not literally New Guinea style!
Must have a good personality (regardless of the meds you're taking)!
Must shout only "my name" during sex!
Must be able to go from deep, meaningful conversation to silly stuff!
Must have a pulse!
Must think I'm almost normal!
and on and on...ha,ha...
Contact me! Especially if you are a filthy-rich 90 year old woman. Honestly!
I'm here illegally. Must marry a Canadian pronto. Deportation date is fast approaching!
With you silly! Preferably someplace without an escape option for you! I plan to tell you enough lies to make you want a second date.
In the summer would have to be indoors...butterfly thing. Indoor picnic? Have to stay in anyway...the court forced me to wear that pesky ankle bracelet (I swear I'm innocent).
Do you have a fast car? Maybe we could do a bank job. So sad, my last potential partner drove a slow car and resulted in her 25 year incarceration (I was lucky and jumped out). I'm thinking a 90 to 10 split...it's like that with any organization. Yes, as the brains of the outfit and the fact that men make more than women for doing the same job (look up the stats) I deserve it. Being generous though, I will pay for the gas money.
Miss my mom too...maybe you could come with me when I make my weekly visit to her prison?
I'm spontaneous and open to suggestions...perhaps skydive together? Be nice holding hands 5,000 feet above the earth.
Desensitization therapy? I'll walk through a park with you if you promise to hold my hand should a butterfly flutter by.
Maybe an expensive meal at North 44 courtesy of you?
I'm strictly a one woman guy...but promise to perform ventriloquy during a meeting if you are otherwise inclined.
Already December, maybe you could help put up my Easter decorations?
Or meet my grand puppy? Named Stay. It's fun to call her. "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" She went insane.--Steven Wright
Don't worry about giving me your number, it won't be posted in a men's washroom, there are so many unpainted walls/bridges in the GTA.
If we click...do the coffee thing? Timmies is making a fortune from me. Wish a Tim Horton's franchise was affordable...this way I could brag to my friends and say you came to my place. Or a glass of wine...we could sit at an outdoor patio and freeze our butts off.
REALLY...talk on the phone...email does not convey tone, texture to one's voice or a personal touch... a laugh when implied etc. Is this whole thing about two people or two computers getting together?
However, if we do talk on the phone, back where my parents came from, that would be grounds for matrimony and since I wish not to dishonour you...how about I purchase the bus tickets for our honeymoon in Scarborough?
Also, after a few initial meetings, please don't be offended if I invite you back to my condo, for a movie and pizza...with a nice log in the fireplace.
And not wishing to disappoint, please also know that I'm not always funny. Realize I only wrote "funny" over a week long period. So if you do message, I hope you appreciate a more serious correspondence.
Humour is also a way of saying something serious.--T. S. Eliot