There has got to be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every single word to "Baby Got Back".
"You know what's good for shoulder pain, is if you lick my butthole."
"I don't even chase my shots. What makes you think I'll chase after you?"
*Guys, lying about your height is like a girl lying about her weight. Please don't do it!*
Here are a few random things about me:
-I'm faaaar from perfect. I have flaws and imperfections, but I am who I am. Take it or leave it. :)
-I do have a little baggage. I'm human.
-I realllly like guys who make pouty/kissy faces in their pics. If I wanted a sad looking puppy, I'd go buy one.
-I'm one of the most honest people you will meet.
-I'm not a cheater. If you're not happy, leave. I don't get the whole cheating thing.
-I still laugh every time I watch Step Brothers.
-I like to drive fast... BUT...
-I hate motorcycles so don't ask, I won't get on one with you!
-I once inhaled a moth. It tasted like dirt.
-I'll listen to just about any music, but if it sucks, I'll let you know.
-I'm kind of blunt, which can come off as b*tchy sometimes.
-I once got a dead guy's toe stuck in a VCR. (it's not a joke. I'm pretty amazing)
-I'm a new fan of sushi. Still trying to master chopsticks though.
-I'm shy at first. Takes a while for me to warm up, then I'm an idiot. :) (like, REALLY shy)
-I have REALLY bad language, but know when to turn it off. (I blame that on all the guys I work with).
-I have a really really sick sense of humor. NOTHING is off limits and I can probably gross you out. (I also blame that on the guys at work). LOL
-I was born in Portland.
-I dislike guys with hairy chests or dirty ears... dont really dig long hair either.
-Goatees are kinda gross if they're long. I don't like pubes on your balls, so why would I like them on your face? haha
-I play video games with my son.
-I eventually want to be an RN.
Still reading?? :)
-I don't eat chips that are folded in half.
-I'm not high maintenance, but do like to be spoiled every once in a while.
-I can shake my ass like Shakira, but only after a few alcoholic beverages.
-I really wish I had a sugar glider.
-I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. Haha
-I'm a jeans and tshirt kind of girl, but can dress up if I need to.
-I think I have insomnia.
-I recently moved here from the middle of the desert and couldn't be happier.
-I like anal sex with midgets, but only on Tuesdays if they bring their own step stool.
-I'm afraid of heights, but want to go sky diving.
-I love a man in a uniform, so I drive a red car hoping to get pulled over.
-My favorite colors are pink and brown.
-I don't exercise at all. Luckily I have good genes or I'd be ginormous!!
-Sarcasm is my middle name. (hippie parents)
-Im lacking in the boob dept, so hopefully you're an a$$ man.
-I won't date guys who can't spell.
-I LOVE pasta.
-You might get drop kicked if you chew with your mouth open.
-I get really cranky when I'm tired. Look out!
-I have really bad road rage.
-I have a Vizsla named Penelope. (look it up)!
-I have a really crappy work/sleep schedule.
-I had a cat named Cinderella Noodle.
-My favorite kind of movie is porn.
-I hate when guys leave the toilet seat up! If it was meant to be that way, it would be spring loaded like a movie theater.
-I used to have pink hair in high school.
-I don't cook.
Okay, now you know a little about me. :) still interested?? LOL
I'm actually a really nice, easy goin, down to Earth girl who just wants to be happy. I'm a hopeless romantic and wear my heart on my sleeve. *sigh* Why is this dating thing so hard???
To send a message to catvomit you MUST meet the following criteria:
Age between 25 and 41.
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