If you're not a cat fishing douche, and an actual person, please read on! High five! :) Also, if you're a scumbag who determines a persons' value just by their pictures, then you can piss off as well. Because f**k you, that's why. :)
I unfortunately cannot type everything there is to know about me in a little box here; but will try to give y'all something to go on... there's a lot here, but read til the end to find out how to win valuable prizes! :-p
I moved to New Baltimore / Chesterfield area on 8/6/14, so looking forward to meeting new people and getting into fun, shenanigans and new adventures! :)
I will always respond, because I know how crappy it feels when you write someone and the dirt bags don't have the decency to write back or acknowledge your existence. Though it may take a hot minute for me to get back with you. I look forward to meeting new people and hopefully at the very least make some awesome friends!
artistic endeavors such as writing, playing guitar, tabletop rpg's, and the other stuffs I mentioned in interests. :)
Goals and Aspirations:
Will be continuing my education and hope to be further promoted at my work. I am employed with one of the Big 3 auto companies; and want to get into the software development side. Meaning, all the fancy pants things you can do in your car; I will be one of the people responsible for them.... I know, most of you just fell asleep. haha. Translation: I'll be making them fat stacks o' cash! weeeeeee!
Honest to a fault; compassionate, centered, confident, superb comedic timing (or so my friends say), and the list goes on. I am very easily entertained. As you can see from my pics and this profile, I may appear to be fug and boring; but, in reality, beers want me and women fear me! hahahaha... wait... doh! ba dum tis.
Not into wasting time. Clean up after myself. I know the difference between: they're, their, there, whose, who's, whom, etc. I'm STD free!
People tell me I'm 39% less creepy, clingy and needy than most guys! I'll open the door for you, send you flowers just cuz. I can laugh at myself. I'll do almost anything to get people to laugh. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm a Pisces through and through. I talk in movie quotes with friends. Face only a mother could love, but a heart of gold and a jovial sense of humor. ;)
I use "air quotes" when talking. The words: "twerk," and "twitter," and autotune all literally make my ears bleed! True story. I'm a mutant with a million weird allergies; especially food. I can't eat poultry or seafood, or mushrooms. I'm allergic to Benadryl... that's right, allergic to an allergy med. Good times! :)~ I'm also allergic to tomatoes... But pasta is too darn delicious to give up. It's weird, tomatoes generally make the top of my head sweat.. hahaha. There's a topic for emails; what wacky quirks do you have?!? haha.
I love mainly rock, metal, classical, some rap, dubstep, some old school country like Johnny Cash. Generally speaking I'm not really a fan of pop music / r&b, though there are some exceptions. Oddly enough I like dubstep with all the wacky sounds, but amything that clearly uses auto tune just makes my ears bleed. haha. Some bands I dig: Metallica, Tool, Alice n' Chains, Soundgarden, Motley Crue, Linkin Park, and millions more. Also; one of my friends' is now on iTunes. Amazing voice! Check out Janeen Leah. :)
Most anything on HBO: Game of Thrones, True Blood, Boardwalk Empire, Sopranos, etc.
Sons of Anarchy
Mainly love horror movies and comedies; also an amalgamation of both; horror comedies; such as the Evil Dead Trilogy. 3
But will watch just about anything. I'm easily entertained. :)
What I'm looking for:
Sense of humor is a must. STD free. Don't have a schlong. ;) I mean, I'm not going to piledrive you on the first date, but the idea here is to start a relationship with someone, which good lord willing will eventually lead to intimacy. And if I get the hep or herp or my pp falls off, I'm going to be none too happy. Don't be freakishly sized. If you're more than 7' tall or 3' wide, sorry Shaq, but I don't want to be serial crushed or look like I'm "fun sized" when standing next to you. :) Also, must live within an hour and a half of me. Must be able to carry on a conversation. If you don't have anything to say other than, "Hi, how are you doing?" Then I'm going to lose interest.
Maybe you?!?..... but only way you're going to find out is to write me. ;)
Taking your ex's b.s. out on me. We all are here because past relationships didn't work out. I won't judge you based on my ex's and expect the same.
People who make annoying sounds while eating
People who are constantly on their cellphones while on a date
Wasting my time
Writing someone an email and seeing the ol "unread deleted." rather disheartening...if you do this, you're a soulless douchebag. :)
Being a little crazy is fine... but if Britney would say about you,"homegirl be cray cray!" thennnnn might be a problem.... high five!
People who block me before I ever send them a message. Sweet Jesus, at least talk with me and decide for yourself if I am an @$$hole... not cool judging people solely on their looks ;)
People who stress in their profiles they're not here for intimate encounters and for those kinds of people to get lost; then on the first date, they're throwing themselves at you... uh.... thanks, buuuuuuuuuut .... no thanks?!? I'd rather get to know you first. Has to be something more to relationship than just sweet sweet lovins. yow-mean! :-)
Pro-tip: If you are a douche, you should push alt + f4 on your keyboard for a fun trick. :)
My weird quirks:
I type "haha" or smiley faces a lot; largely because I joke around a lot and sometimes it's hard to tell when people are joking in writing because you can't tell their tone; so I figure if I put "haha" in or smiley faces or whatever that is to help get the point across that I'm joking. But I do know when / how to be serious.
My only form of OCD is I will always respond to someone; as soon as possible. I think just because I despise being ignored so much that I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them.
For those of you into the "mom porn," (50 shades of grey) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA bwahahahahaha. high five!
If you know where these song lyrics are from without using Google / Bing, etc. chances are high you're a keeper. :-)
Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Somewhere public; where we can talk and get to know each other; and also so you can't chloroform my phat ass and steal my kidneys! Woo woo! High five. :)
I kid, I kid. Anywho, I generally prefer the first date / meeting to be something simple so we're not stuck with someone if they turn out to be a chud. Something easy like dinner or drinks or something. People watching, going for a walk, etc.
I also don't really mind a movie first, then dinner or a drink; so gives you something else to talk about.
But jetting off to Paris or Milan or something is usually reserved for the rare few who can put up with my @$$ to at least date #3. haha.
If you've read all of this, congratulations, you've won a surprise; message me for further details! ;)