Do you always follow instructions this well? LOL. Don't read unless you can handle a man with a strong multi-faceted personality. I'm a little bit rock star, faux psychologist, philosopher, comedian, all rolled up in one. Throw in a good helping of mischief, and blend well in a hot-tub.
*** Ladies, thanks for all the emails. If I don't respond today, don't be offended. I'll reply even if I don't think we'd jive. It's called "manners". ***
I'm going to list what I don't want rather than what I want. If you're bright enough to figure it out, email me. ;-)
If you have no idea why you do what you do, and your therapist has to sort out why your life is such a mess, we won't jive. By now, you should know how to avoid repeating the same mistakes and bad choices.
- I expect someone as attractive as I am. However, if your bra size exceeds your IQ, we won't jive. Sorry, I'm not impressed by looks alone, if that's all you've got, we probably won't hit if off. Street smarts and a kind heart go a long way.
- No, I'm not looking for a one-night stand (although they do happen, a guy who says they don't is either lying or inept, which do you want?). No, I'm not looking for a new wife (although I suppose it could happen). There's happy middle-ground between those two extremes, whether casual or committed. And no, just because I'm attractive doesn't automatically make me a player. If you're a hottie, does that automatically make you a slut? ;-)
- If you're peddling your web-cam site, don't bother. Why would I web-cam with you when I can have the real thing? If you want bootie-pay, get a job at the Men's Club.
- I grew up around mostly women, I'll treat you with respect. If you can't do the same, we won't get along. I can be sensitive when necessary, but I'm not a punching bag. I'll roll up my sleeves and carry you when needed, but I won't repeatedly rescue you from self-created crises. I'll surprise you with chocolate when you're PMS'ing, but if you go off on me for no reason I'll eat the chocolate myself.
- Age doesn't matter to me, emotional maturity does. If drama follows you around, contact a talent agency.
- Relationships are not fairy tales, I'm not prince charming, and you're not a princess. It takes work from two. If you don't get it, we won't jive. I can bring fantasy to life (can you?), but we have to re-visit reality occasionally. I can sweep you off your feet, but you'll have to knock my socks off. If you don't think you can get me barefoot, you probably can't.
- If you're a high-maintenance Barbie, we won't connect well. However, if you can go from tom-boy to decked-out hottie, I'll think you're quite sexy
- I don't control nor manipulate, but rest assured I will influence you. (I'll lead you into some mischief and you'll like it.) If you are a control freak, we won't get along. Go find an insecure spineless wuss to lick your boots, there are plenty to choose from. If you thrive by playing manipulative games, guess what? I recognize them immediately and they don't work on me. ;-)
I want to stare in your eyes like a wierdo. I want to kick ur feet and try to trip you when you walk in front of me. I want you to open the doors for ME and whenever I enter a room, you whistle the theme song to top gun, Get matching tattoos, maybe max out a few credit cards or something.
P.S i'm a Gentleman