First, full disclosure about what most people consider the most striking thing about me: I’m a wheelchair user due to a spinal cord injury. Yes, I still enjoy sex, so don’t worry about that. (That’s usually the first thing potential partners want to know.) I am not looking for a protector (“That sounds fabulous, hun, but are you sure it’s safe?” – heard when I wanted to try SCUBA; “But wouldn’t that be a lot harder for you to do now?” – heard when I was contemplating children). I’m looking for someone who is willing to come along on the adventure of figuring out how I’m supposed to do things now! Of course, we’d spend time on the activities you like as well. I think mine just sometimes take a bit more ingenuity and planning to do.
I don’t want a man who lives by his anxiety issues. Having anxiety is fine, I’ve just had my share of dating men who cannot “own” their anxiety and who cannot commit to moving to the next steps of a relationship because they are always too afraid to. I want someone who can sing in the kitchen with me once in a while just because. I want someone who is willing to take the leap of faith that commitment requires. I want someone who is excited about being in love.
I am a liberal, inwardly-freaky, tortured soul who had plenty of sex, drugs and rock and roll in her past and is not averse to experiencing a little more in the future. I am a socially conscious, “bad” feminist. I miss having someone to be crude yet smart with.
I am a disability advocate. I am not for you if you are: conservative and/or afraid of the term “disability advocate”. If you care about someone, you care about their rights.
As liberal as I am, I don’t think that all cops are pigs, eating meat is bad or that good thoughts get you things you want. New Age hippies annoy me, and I say this with love as an ex-New Age hippie. I still recycle my cans and forgo makeup most of the time, but I can no longer subscribe to thoughts like “The Universe is love” and “All women are connected through their wombs”.
I like making jewelry. Like, really a lot, so yes, that takes up legitimate time on my schedule. Along with resting my back – in particular, that’s non-negotiable. I mean, hey, I’ve got 3 fused vertebrae and two 6-inch rods in my back and I sit in a chair 12+ hours a day, so yeah, it hurts. I’m only human.
Let’s talk about the POF question, Do you do drugs? What does that mean, exactly? Because “doing drugs” can mean anything from smoking a joint once a year at a Dave Matthews concert to taking an extra Vicodin on the weekends to a daily heroin habit, right? It’s just silly to lump all of that into one answer. Do I take an extra pill when I can’t sleep? Once in a while. Do I smoke medical pot? Yes. Do I drink? No, not really, but I’ll nurse a drink socially. So, what about you? When does your judgment kick in? For me I’d have to forgo the person with the heroin habit.
Oh, and a guy who makes me laugh is a man after my own heart. Liking animals is a must, as well.
(After reading some POF forum threads, I realized I should mention something: you would not have to take care of me due to the disability. I have lived on my own for several years now, and I make my own money. I am very independent, the type who would rather not have someone push her around (the chair!). I'm not looking for a man to come along and rescue me, but to share life with me.)
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Let's just meet somewhere and talk until we lose track of time.