Hey to all swimming in this pond!
Instead of writing a lengthy novel spilling out my hopes and dreams, goals and aspirations (although it'd sell like crazy for Kindle) I'll throw out a few crumbs off the cookie in a quick, easy-to-follow (unless you're severely retarded) format. Ready? Ok, here goes...
***With all the mail I receive I feel the need to add this extra tidbit of necessary information in the hopes that my point will be made clear as to the specific type of person I'm looking for. It seems regardless of what has been displayed in my profile before, many are determined to somehow "have so much in common with me". I beg to differ, so let me be more specific: IF YOU THINK NORMALLY DON'T MESSAGE ME!!! There's a notion that if it's blonde, it's dumb. I love that. I relish it, actually. I'm beyond that perspective; the one most human animals think with. I talk with few, agree with less. Do you see what I do for "work"? And I consider that a hobby. If you could tell me why a broken mirror is better than a razor we may have the start at a conversation.***
A few BarbieNinja facts:
1. LOVES tattoos. Actually, 'obsessed' is more accurate
2. Digs piercings. On me. You..meh. Not so much. That look left with the mullet. (If you have a mullet skip my profile completely).
3. Gym? P90X? Couch potatoes are bad, mmmkay?!
4. Blood, Guts, & Popcorn! "Horror" is so romantic..I'll take 'Phantasm' over 'The Notebook' any night.
5. Vanilla is the best smell EVER!! Trivia: Did you know vanilla beans used to get tattoos? Anyone know why??
6. Chef Boyardee Extraordinaire. Wolfgang Puck and I swap recipes.
7. And on the 8th day God created TOOL. To worship any other would be a sin.
8. LOVES streetbikes. Actually, 'obsessed' is more accurate. Isle of Man TT, anyone?
9. My son rocks. He kicks as* in jiu-jitsu and gets all the chicks. And he's only 12. Take notes.
What BarbieNinja wants:
I seek the usual: Attractive (mentally & physically), Honest, Romantic, Intelligent, Big Sense of Humor, Stable, Compassionate, Trustworthy, and on and on...
With a combination of the UNusual: You're not a cookie-cutter version of the typical guy. You've got quirks and ticks that sets you apart from the cattle mass of 'normal'. Your thought process doesn't follow a straight line, but is integrated with zig-zags & loops. They think you're weird, odd, a part-time freak; I think you're amazing. In your mental Wonderland you're the Mad Hatter and I'm Alice, but unlike the story, I don't want to leave.
So here's the part where I list things I'm NOT into. As in, don't message me if any of the following apply to you:
1. You're wanting to hook up, take pics, make videos, etc. Better luck on Craigslist
2. You're still in a relationship or you have issues with a psychotic ex. Either cut the leash or adopt the dog already
3. You have mental problems. Start the meds or up the dose. Either way, stay single
4. You have, or had, a restraining order against you. What part of "stay away" did you misinterpret?
5. You're a serial dater who can't/won't commit. Have fun with that. But don't be a fool, wrap your tool
6. You don't have your sh*t together (in debt, no job, not sure what you wanna be when you grow up) Still?!?
7. You've no concept of chivalry. If Mom or Dad didn't school you, watch "Somewhere in Time"
8. You don't just 'think' you're hot. You 'know' it. It gets lonely hanging out with just the mirror, huh?
9. You refuse to understand and/or accept that dating someone with a child is a "package deal". Duh
**Please don't disregard my description of who I'm looking for & message me knowing you're NOT my type. You're only wasting your time and mine.**
Well, that wasn't too painful, right? If you're still reading this and you've cleared yourself from my No-No list above, feel free to send a "hey" my way. If not, happy fishing!
We're all aware that we can tell within a second (two max) if there's an attraction or not. Instead of possibly obligating one another to a long, uncomfortable situation (like dinner or a movie) isn't it in our best interests to try a quick meet-&-greet? I volunteer the good ol' "let's meet for coffee" routine; tried and true, this mild venture encompasses all the necessary elements proven to provide little to no stress for either party: public venue (beats meeting in an alley), multiple surrounding conversations (if one of us starts talking sh*t it'll blend in with other voices), inexpensive menu (in case you missed my point on chivalry & let me pay for my own cup o' joe), and fairly easy escape route (multiple in/out options, quick access to adjoining businesses). Can you tell that I've had way too many "Dear God, please cause a tornado to distract me running for the door" first time, get-to-know-each-other-betters? Err on the side of caution, but like any good Scout, I like to be prepared. But hopefully, when we meet, we'll already be thinking about where to go for dinner and what movie we'd like to see..
To send a message to
you MUST meet the following criteria:
Age between 30 and 40.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
roses available. Click Send Message to send
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