Ultimately seeking a wife/someone to share life experiences, but also could use a few new friends. Traits i'm looking for include: Being supportive, considerate and loyal. Must love animals! Not interested in bisexual women or those that are opposed to shaving and using dental floss.
I have been single (no dating either) for a very long time.
A. Very. Long. Time.
Yes, my vagina is now on suicide watch. When the zombie apocalypse begins, and panic ensues, i will be the one tripping people for bait and bribing kids with dreams of oven baked cookies. If you are oblivious to that reference (TWD), we will probably debate a lot...or i will just tie you to a chair and force you to watch every season. I don't think OITNB is a very good show. It's juvenile and i don't care for the caricatures. Oh yeah, i went there. Go watch Bad Girls and Wentworth, you'll thank me later. When i was 13 yrs old, my brother rented Personal Best. Since then, whenever someone questions my sexuality, i just hand them his address and phone number. Halloween is my fav holiday, not just because i get to terrify small Humans. I ate a spider when i was 3 years old, it did not taste like chicken. Without coffee, i would be comatose. I'm poor but very generous. I like my own space, but am attentive and affectionate. This is starting to sound like a twisted Alanis Morissette song. If you're still reading, there is something very wrong with you...which means you are perfect for me!
***Try to write more than 2 words in your message***
420 Friendly / Sarcasm Friendly
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Anything OTHER than going out to dinner. It's quite difficult, and also gross, to attempt a conversation while shoving food into your mouth. Unless having food stuck in your teeth gets you hot. In that case, i'll eat a bowl of spinach and meet you at the hotel!