My name is Matt.
I'm cute, cuddly, and legal.
I am seeking a beautiful and charming like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, that will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion but who's paranoia, self loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to an inevitable emotional breakdown of one or other party....
P.S. I would be the one keeping the dog.