Hi there! Thank you for visiting my profile...
The Prologue (and subsequent disclaimer):
A demonstration of wit is not an indication of a lack of interest or inability to demonstrate seriousness. Rather, this should serve to sever the wheat from the chaff, as it were. And with that in mind, I present to you, my profile...
My name is Hector Jose Manuel Ortega-Rodriguez, but you can call me Frank. My friends call me Tim. I'm known as Robert in at least five states, but that's only because the DMV keeps messing up my paperwork.
60 percent of the time, I work every time! It's a little known fact, but im single handedly responsible for the invention of the towel rack. It's a long story that will blow your mind. Ask me about it at dinner. When I was born, time stopped for 5 minutes and 16 seconds, causing a great universal shift which was later remedied by the changes made to daylight savings time. You're welcome! I saved my hometown from total annihilation once by negotiating with intergalactic space pirates and struck a deal which keeps them from raiding our galaxy for the next 457 years. That story isn't as long, so we'll discuss that over coffee. It's also how I got my nickname, "The negotiator" which inspired the name of the block buster hit starring my old golfing buddy, Kevin Spacey. Name drop! Well, all this talk has made me tired. I think I'm going to go take a nap in one of my luxurious hotels. (Call me for booking, and I'll get you the owner's rate. You're also welcome.)
*Update* Sorry, ladies, but this cow doesn't give free milk. If you like it, then you better put a ring on it. That's right. Beyonce, my vocal coach, taught me that. Name drop number two!
Best of luck to you all and happy fishing! :)