The type of person I would like to date or become friends with: I would like to meet someone who is honest, loyal, responsible, and who has a good personality. I would also like to meet a person that has a sense of humor, is ambitious, intelligent, passionate, and likes to try new things. It would be a bonus if your a bit old fashioned but still in touch with the current times. I am looking for that special spark, can’t describe it, but you know it when you feel it.
A little about me: I am easy going and laid back. I can go with the flow but am not without my own opinion. I'm always up for trying new things, but appreciate a little down time when given the opportunity. I'm probably a little different than the other guys but in a good way! I love to laugh so someone with a sense of humor is a big plus. I consider loyalty to be one of my best qualities. I’m fun, athletic, passionate, adventurous, and sometimes even a bit funny. I have good friends so spending time with them occasionally is important to me. I have a natural curiosity about the world, and therefore, would like to start traveling more. Would you like to join me?
Anyway, I'm always up for a good joke so I thought I share one with you. No guarantees that it will make you laugh but I thought I give it a shot anyway.
======================= Sex on Mars ===================
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
enough Frequent Flier miles.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.
Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers,
how they make money, etc.
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.
The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'
A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for
the night and experience one another.. Maureen and the male Martian go
off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny,
weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.
'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.
'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'
'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'
'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm.
With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite
'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'
'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his
member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely
exciting to the woman.
'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate
The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their
separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, 'Well, was it any
'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about
'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache . She kept
slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.
Well, hope you enjoyed the joke. Here are a couple of other ones for you.
========== Don't cheat, it won't add up ==========
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and
left it on the dining room table:
To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs
that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I
am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.
Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you
will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be
spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at
the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before
When the man came home late that night, he found the
following letter on the dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty
about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this
opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years
old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local
college. I would like to inform you that while you
read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael,
one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis
coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary,
is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has
an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand
that we are in the same situation, although with one
small difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times
than 54 goes into 18!!!
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
============ Sex, Lies, and A GRAVY LADLE... ==========
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother
could'nt help noticing how beautiful John's roommate Julie was. She had
long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and
this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than
meets the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what
you must be thinking, but I asure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I cant find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You dont
suppose your mom took it, do you? John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll
write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take the
gravy ladle from my house and I'm not saying you did not take the gravy
ladle but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were
here for dinner. Love, John."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read,
"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Julie, and I'm not
saying that you "do not" sleep with Julie but the fact remains that if she
were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by
now, Love Mom."