* 6'3" tall
* blond hair
* blue eyes
* Have my own house, car, motorcycle
* No kids
* 2 dachshund pups
* Im an exotic entertainer (Yes, like Magic Mike. Yes, seriously)
* I was in PlayGirl Magazine in 2007 (Yes, seriously).
* I graduated from NMTI as a Massage Therapist.
* I have a passion for animals, especially neglected ones, and have a monthly donation account set up with ASPCA.
Things that make me scratch my head:
*People who get their boyfriend's/girlfriend's name tattooed on them. Hence, my 3 ex's.
*The Miraculous Bra by Victoria's Secret. While it looks sexy, it's essentially the same as a guy strapping a 13" Jimmy Dean Sausage to his inner thigh.
*When I get messages that are blue/underlined because they didnt know how to spell the word, googled it, then copy pasted it. Dont care if it's one word, but when I get eight in one message, it makes me question one's level of education.
*Person sends you a message saying "Hi, how are you?". You respond, "Good. Yourself?".....but then they dont respond back. Wait, what?
*People that post a single picture on their profile of them and their friend, yet, they dont indicate which one is them. So you got this one person who is a 10, and the other who is about a 3, and you hope it's the 10 talking to you, so you're forced to awkwardly reply "which one is you?", and OF COURSE they respond "the one on the right", whom is the 3. Isnt that the worse?
* Please have more than one photo, with a body shot included. You in a black sweater is not a body shot, fyi.
* If I don't respond to your first message, please dont send 5 more. You just look 5x more crazy.
* Oh, and if you know where my headline is from, I'll be incredibly impressed.