The reason I am here is not because I need someone in my life but because I want someone in my life. I miss having someone who is always happy to see me and looks forward to every text or phone call simply because they can't wait to hear what I have to say.
I like having someone around who doesn't judge me for having a potty mouth, for having a jiggly ass or for knowing less than zero about politics.
I loved having someone around that never got tired of learning news things about me or the world around us, that didn't blame me for my past and could get beyond the bad choices or decisions I have made and will continue to make in my life. I want someone who is excited to see me at my best and looks forward to me getting it right every so often. ;-)
I need someone who can keep me afloat with their positive nature, that makes me want to be a better person and has love and compassion for people from all walks of life.
I feel most comfortable with someone who allows me to be me, who understands that emotion is hard for me and that showing how I feel about someone doesn't come naturally to me (we aren't big huggers in my family). Anyone who is patient with me as I chip away the wall that I have built around myself will surely understand how hard I try to be as open with my emotions as I am with my thoughts and feelings. This wall was not built just from the bricks of old and broken relationships between me and my exes (I am actually friends with all of my exes except 2 of them). Pieces of my relationships with my family, friends, coworkers, bosses, etc can be found throughout this wall. Moving to Indiana was a real eye opener about who my true supporters and friends were.
I have had a rough go at relationships and have been single long enough that it feels strange to be with someone. If you can handle the wit and constant jabbering that will no doubt plague me for many of our first few dates, than you should be just fine with all of my other quirks. The wit and jabber will not end when the nervousness ends but it will be turned down some.
I am not broken but bruised and if you cannot use gentle hands and words with me than I prefer that you just move on. I have found my temper and lost my patience so tread lightly if you decide to be anything but polite to me.
I am very independent, overly cautious, stubborn, funny, loyal, blessed/cursed with the gift of gab, confident yet insecure, never without a book or music, always lost in my own thoughts until someone else wants to share their thoughts with me, a believer in the unknown and gifted with the love of all human kind (Except jerks. No one loves a jerk.).
I'm extremely open when I feel comfortable with someone. I am fiercely honest so if you ask the wrong thing, I will let you know. I don't cheat and will never tolerate being cheated on. If you cannot understand my apprehension at meeting someone in person before I feel safe enough to do so, then do not bother messaging me. My safety is more important than your need to meet with me after two emails. Respect that, please.