this time, we'd like to introduce...
Eh up, female type persons.
Well, I'm a laid-back sort of chappy, relatively quietly spoken and very easygoing unless you really go out of your way to annoy me. I'm also quite a simple soul who likes and appreciates the little things in life and ideally I'd like to meet a similar kind of woman for a relationship. I do prefer happy, chatty women as I like to be able to talk freely and have a laugh. As for hobbies, well, I like playing guitar (still on good terms with the neighbours as I rarely plug it in...), listening to music, days out, theme parks, bowling, going to t' pub, occasionally clubs but everyone's like twelve (!) years old there these days, eating out (that's er...at restaurants, ahem) etc.
Really love retro tv and music!! The cheesier the better, but I have been known to listen to a decent song from a competent artist now and again. :)
The 'justgothomefromthepubafteronetoomanybabychamsandnowhethinkshesjamesruddyjoyce' part: (oh dear...we apologise in advance)
Well, it seems like you've reached the end of the profile. Well done. Congratulations. How wonderfully, smashingly greattastic! Parting is such sweet sorrow. We'll meet again some rainy day. Arrivederci. Sayonara. See ya!! And yet...is it truly the end or just a new beginning? What if you were to start at the end and work your way backwards?? Then the end would be the start and the start would be the end! OMG! It'd feel like you knew me inside out, but alas, you wouldn't. I've been trying to figure me out for many a year and even I don't understand me. Still, a nod's as good as a wink to a blind ostrich as they (almost certainly don't) say. You can't have your cake and eat it, even though that's exactly what I did earlier today. All that glitters is not necessarily Gary, and it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for. (Actually, as a quietee-subscriptionite of advancing yearage, that one is quite possibly a non-falsehood.)
Hmm, seems I was telling porky pies earlier when I said it was the end of the profile. Tsk, you just can't trust anyone these days can you? There I was, trying to present myself as a kind, caring, trustworthy guy and look what happened! I lied to you and we hardly even know each other!! Ah we', I guess it matters not a jot as I doubt that anyone ever reads this far. I mean, why should you? I flipping well wouldn't :p
My humblest apologies for being such an incredibly rude bar steward if I don't reply to your message. To be honest (hah) I'm really not compatible with that many people so it's probably that I've read your profile and decided that we wouldn't click, or that you live in the Outer Hebrides, or that you'd knock Susan Boyle into 2nd place in a Susan Boyle lookalike contest, or that you're stranger than I am.
That's all folk(ette)s. Sob!
*Cue mass cheering and much merriment from the paired X chromosome percentage of the POF populace*
(Try saying that after half a shandy.)