Dating for a while, just have not found a connection. Looking to date ! Maybe we will get along enough to go on another. Then after that maybe another. Then you wear my varsity jacket. Then marriage. Then marriage counseling. Then a baby to save the marriage. Then I find pictures of another man's ding dong on your phone. Marriage counseling. I come home covered in glitter and a used condom on. Divorce. Child support. DNA test. Alimony. A hit man is hired to create my demise. Funeral. Murder trial. Not enough evidence is found for a conviction. You are released a free woman. You spend the rest of your life having sex with my family members and close friends. Every third Saturday of each month , you pay a homeless man to go take a dump on my grave! Ahh the American Dream ! Strap in sister !
Let's go to a strip club with Jesus pamphlets and try to change some lives. Tennis ? Have you ever been to a donkey vs. Woman show down in Mexico? Maybe a nice helicopter ride over beautiful Bosnia? Would you feel safe getting heavily intoxicated with me ? Go for a drive ? It probably does not sound like a good idea but would you like to go to a cheap hotel and shoot heroin ? Curl up on the couch next to a fire and watch a documentary on school shootings ? I'll tell you and you better believe me when I say it ! You have not lived until you club a baby seal ! Hey, still reading? Then maybe your in this for the long haul ! So here is my final idea for a first date , let's hop on my private jet( gynecology has paid well) and go to my summer house in Pakistan. We will meet some of my friends there , they ****ing hate America but holy sh*tcan they party ! Think spring break meets black hawk down. Still reading? For real though, let's just have nice conversation , go for a walk on the boardwalk, nice dinner, I walk you to your car. Soft kiss on the cheek. Maybe go back to my place and watch a movie ? The Accused ?