So, once again my hilarious profile mysteriously disappeared. So, I have charged my screen writers to create the third installment of my profile. The chronology of my profiles is similar to the history of Godzilla. Since it's origin in 1954, and some 40-50 movies made in between then and now (including the heaping pile of crap that Matthew Broderick made in 1998), this profile promises to finally meet the horrific expectations that all women have come to expect from dating POF men.
The simple ways I compare to Godzilla.
1. Easily enraged. Without warning, I will leave a path of destruction in my path. The simplest of stimuli, such as asking questions during Walking Dead will set me off like the annoying native drums that set Godzilla off in 1969's All Monsters Attack.
2. You'll never know if you are on my good or bad side. My love for you will change as the wind does. Imagine the citizens of Tokyo's surprise when Godzilla protects them against Mothra in 1964's Mothra vs. Godzilla, just a few years after he destroyed their city in 1955's Godzilla Raids Again. This will give you stomach cramps louder than Godzilla's roar.
3. Radioactivity. It will make our love passionate and white hot, but leave you sick to your stomach, give you lesions, and probably make your hair fall out. In 1956's Godzilla King of the Monsters, you were either squashed or died a slow and painful radioactive death.
4. Illegitimate children. In 1967's Son of Godzilla, it appears that Godzilla had a kid. This will surprise you as much as the Japanese scientists on Monster Island considering Godzilla has no male or female sex organs. I probably have seventeen children running around, but unfortunately they aren't trapped on a remote Pacific island. So get ready for great Holiday seasons.
5. Running around in a gang. In 2004's Godzilla Final Wars, Godzilla ran around with a posse of monsters named Angurius, Ebriah, Gigan, Hedorah, Monster X, Keizer Gidorah, Kamacuras, King Caesar, Kumonga, Manda, Minilla, Mothra, Rodan and Zilla causing destruction and devastation never before seen by mankind. My posse will be around all the time "keeping it real," and surprisingly they all have the same names as Godzilla's friends.
6. An aversion to anything "modern." If you take hundreds of pics, can't get off Facebook, text until your thumbs are sore, or play Candy Crush frustrated because you can't get by level 68, I will have to smash your phone and remove your fingers. Just as Godzilla smashed his modern, mechanized foe in 1974's Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Godzilla also ripped its arms and head off and sunk it deep into the Pacific. Eagle Mountain Lake will have to suffice in our situation.
If interested, leave me a message unless you're Raymond Burr.