I have a story, oh do I have a story... but I hate drama and/or Primadonnas so you'll have to learn about my story when I get the screenplay done and it wins and Oscar. I'm a Writer, but I don't much care for writing about myself. This poses a problem in this forum. However, I guess I must give you something, so here goes: BASICS: I've never been married (I spent too much time living the life of the amazing inbicile you will LEARN TO LOVE in that Oscar winning screenplay (I will one day complete) to notice that I was the only un-married, childless person I know. Oops, my'bad. I'll try harder to stay focused on procreating life, in my next life. The truth be told, I'd actually give anything for children, so if you have any, I'm already a huge fan. TURN ONS: MY DOG, the SF Giants, the Niners,Old Vine Zinfandel, meditation, wasabi, lakes, oceans, rivers, streams, bathtubs, essentially any body of water with movement, Green Day, Sriracha hot sauce, my family, watermelon, any live music, Dumb and Dumber, Field of Dreams, Bull Durham, Thai food, people who speak Italian, Flojos brand of flip flops (greatest footwear of all time) fresh basil, Barry Zito (I said I was the champion of hopeless causes) Chilean Sea Bass, diamonds (the kind with facets or with nine players) peonies, The Fifty Shades of Gray Trilogy, AND, unpretentious, un-tatood, funny people. TURN OFFS: Rednecks, Nascar, tattoos, people who kill animals for sport, Harley riders, pretentiousness, braggers, and most Republicans. If you want a chick with a perfect body, don't respond. I could get there in a few months, but in order to motivate me to the gym you better have an emormous mind, spirit, sense of humor, bank account or unit. Actually I'm kidding. I just want a funny guy who will love me to death. And for the record, I'm a great cook and a certified massage therapist. PS. If you don't want a girlfriend who is a massage therapist, you need to work harder, because you are obviously a slug. Also, if you don't have a photo, get one! :)
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
This has nothing to do with the first date, but please don't post a shirtless self-portrait of yourself taken in the bathroom mirror. It's really, yeah I'll say it, pathetic. Yet so many of you do it. WHY? Newsflash: Chicks don't think it's hot to be that vain. Write that down.