This is a bit long so...if you're not reasonably intelligent nor open minded, don't bother reading.
But basically, if you embody most of the below:
-You feel like you belong on another planet or in a different time. You are disillusioned with the world.
-Had a really "confusing" childhood
-You feel like you have to hide a lot of what you have to say, because people don't take it seriously
-You feel like you have a 'fake self' that people believe more than your real self
-You feel, no you know that you have some great purpose in life that you aren't fulfilling. Like a 'general without an army'.
-You want to make a massive impact on the world.
-You're bored to ashes with everything
-You're highly intelligent (especially abstractly) in multiple dimensions but not an introvert at all, and have high confidence and security
-You're very adaptable in a wide variety of situations
-You have a strong sense of empathy
-You feel like you have been disconnected from people almost entirely
-You're a very strong person, and feel like you have to lead everyone else and get tired of it
-You change a lot and your beliefs have evolved over the years, and are elaborate and nuanced
-You're extremely intense and have a wild side. You can be laid back and not take everything seriously
-You've emotionally suffered heavily, especially thru existential crises and emotional abuse
-You'd pretty much do anything to find the right person because you've been bored with pretty much everyone
-You feel like you're a supercar spinning the wheels in the driveway; if you could just get some gas in the tank, you could take off
-You have discipline, integrity, loyalty, and honesty but at the same time you aren't a tight ass and can have fun
-You're interested in a really, REALLY wide range of subjects and love to talk endlessly
-You're a logical person but you're willing to test the twilight zone and be open minded
-You're ready to supercharge everything about your life and leave the ho hum behind
^^ if you meet a good part of that, then read on, and perhaps we should speak.
I'm a man of complex contradictions. There's really no other way to put it. I'm unique and have never met a woman I was compatible with. Only half assed relationships, to be honest. I'm an honest-to-God prodigy in some ways, weak in others, but well rounded and very social. I've never met another person like myself and its hurting me.
-I'm both highly self aware and perceptive of the outside world, in fact hurt by the negativity in it. I 'absorb' my environment. I think in a 'web based relay' manner and have well rounded 'encyclopedic' knowledge.
-I'm very, VERY financially adept. I have run two businesses with my mind running at 0% capacity. With a better life, I'd be rich very quickly because I have a deep understanding of finance, money, etc. However, I am not materialistic at all and I really just want to help people thru money.
-I'm aware of my upsides and downsides, and mostly lack an ego. A lot of people misjudge me as arrogant because in a normal context, most of this sounds pretty arrogant even if its not. I've adjusted my beliefs many times and have no trouble admitting my screw ups. I'm mostly a logical (sane) skeptic but I have no problem testing the waters beyond.
-I grew up almost entirely disconnected (emotionally) from friendships and family, which caused this 'dark void' inside that is impossible to dislodge without someone who can really understand and empathize. I experienced a few times when I got 'close' to a real connection but just missed it, causing me mental pain that is virtually inconceivable to anyone I know (enough to make a Navy Seal empty a whole clip into his head if this were physically possible, no exaggeration).
-I actually don't seek to dump baggage on a partner; they will need to understand and 'click' with me and vice versa, but I can take care of myself. Not looking for a pity party. I learned that if I find someone who I click with, I'll rebound really quickly. I have a 'soul of steel'; very high resilience and extreme willpower. Together, we could get a lot done. I just want one someone who can look me straight in the eye and say that they truly understand without bullshitting.
-I am a creative/abstract prodigy, with hundreds or perhaps thousands of ideas for novels, movies, plays, etc. even in this low condition. I really want to put these out and maybe even create some music. I get many from dreams. I want to live out a full life and figure mysterious things out.
-I have a bizarre music taste, spanning from Stars of the Lid to Mogwai to Slowdive to KMFDM to Dark Tranquility etc
-I have a mean but hilarious sense of humor...again this comes out more when I get out of my hole if ever. I'm highly social but I get bored with people so easily which is honestly a pretty nasty catch 22.
-I'm in my 20s but my mannerisms often are like a 30s or 40s guy, and mentally I feel ancient.
-But I really like kids, one of my businesses was teaching piano to little kids for awhile : )
Seriously, if you're anything like this, contact me. There aren't many of us out there.
Now, the less important stuff.
-Ideally, in terms of physical appearance, I prefer a curvy tall redhead. Black hair is another favorite. But looks matter much less than emotional intelligence here. As long as you're a 7/10 or better, I don't care too much though I prefer higher of course ; ) I may feel like an alien, but I'm just a guy in some ways at least. I used to look better before all this crap when I worked out, and I want to get back in shape. And I want someone who can kick my ass to do it.
-Smoking, okay as long as you're not a heavy heavy smoker. Even if you're moderate, its okay as long as you do it outside. I'm asthmatic but I don't mind the smell. Once in awhile and I don't care at all.
-Drug use, okay depending on what it is...but I would prefer if you weren't a junkie. Still, if you're into that because of the pains of life, its not a dealbreaker....unless you want to keep doing it and aren't trying to improve. I do not personally do drugs.
-Drinking, bad, but same as above unless social
-I'm very allergic to cats, so I can't be in a house with one
-I don't care where you live, because people like this in my experience are almost impossible to find. You could live in Soviet Russia or Alabama for all I care as long we click. lolol. I have quite a bit of money and will travel though, far. Obviously closer is better, but I do take quite a few trips.